Child Abuse Survivor: Touching

May 3, 2004

Touching

I've been talking with someone about the topic of being touched in public, or by various people. I'm somewhat fascinated by what other people's feelings are on the subject. I'm very uncomfortable being touched by all but a few people in the world, and I've slways assumed that's because of the abuse. That short list of people who can touch me includes no men. That's a pretty good indicator that it's an abuse issue with me, but other people seem to vary from being very touchy feely to not liking it at all too. On the other hand, even the most touchy-feely people in the world get freaked out in some situations or being touched by some people, so it all seems rather unclear. What's your feeling? Do you like being touched? Are there people who you would just rather not touch you? Places where it always innappropriate, like work? I'm just curious. :)

Posted by mike at May 3, 2004 11:46 AM

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Comments

Mike - I think you have a very good line on why some people don't like to be touched - but also I think it has to do with the way they were raised.

Some people grow up in households where the parents don't show any affection for the other in the slightest - they grow up not knowing how two people in love should act, not knowing how to show affection.

Personally - I love to have my husband reach for my hand as we walk together, I love to have him lean over for a quick brush on the lips - but I find it very disturbing to see two people in public sucking the tongues out of each others heads - if that is due to the abuse I went through or if that is just modesty I don't know...

I guess to get a good line on this question - you would need to have a poll of those who have been and those who haven't been and review the results - might be an interesting theory to research.

Posted by: Susan at May 5, 2004 9:53 PM

I only came across your site today - I've only read two posts so far, but hey, I have to comment! ;)

I guess the questions of touching depends a lot on how a person was raised, but I guess it's also a very "personal" thing (my sister doesn't mind touching as much as I do).
I was raised in Italy, where touching and kissing and hugging is something you do an awful lot of - and you can often find youself being hugged by someone you've only just met. So on one side, I've always felt like I had to *let* people touch/hug/kiss me, because it was the socially accepted way to behave.