“There’s a common assumption that children subjected to abuse or trauma will have problematic emotions across the board, McLaughlin said, such as muted responses to positive situations and extreme reactions to negative ones. But the study’s findings suggest that maltreated children are perhaps more resilient and adaptable than previously thought.
“It seems that they are able to cope effectively, even in very stimulating emotional situations, if they’re taught strategies for doing so,” she said. “We think the findings are really promising.””
Unfortunately, many survivors go their whole lives not realizing that there is hope, if only they can get the help necessary. This study shows that you can be taught the skills necessary to overcome abuse, but so many simply don’t think there is any hope of that. If you’ve been one of them, please recognize that healing is possible!
Abused Children Show “Encouraging” Ability to Regulate Emotions
I think Bobbi misses one of the reasons society continues to believe these myths. I’ve written about it elsewhere; our natural instinct to find a reason to believe that it won’t happen to us, or won’t be as damaging if it should happen. Thus, we keep our kids away from strange, anti-social, men, and we convince ourselves that our stability, our religion, or our wealth, will protect us from the really harmful abusers, and the kinds of abuse that might occur outside of those “stereotypes” aren’t really that damaging.
None of which is true at all.
Still, the myths listed are worth checking out, as well as the information that shows how false they really are.
Sacrificing our Children: Sexual Abuse Myths in Fame Culture
Like youth sports, boarding schools, or youth religious groups, anywhere you have the combination of adults with power and control over children, you’re going to have predators attempting to use that power and control to abuse children. Add to it the money and glamour of Hollywood child actors, and there isn’t even a question that some would try and take advantage of this.
This is why these groups need to be ever vigilant to protecting children, and parents who get their kids involved in these sorts of activities need to have open communication with their kids about what is really happening instead of letting their own ambitions for their kids dominate their decision making.
By all means, let your kids chase their dreams and engage in sports, acting, whatever, but don’t lose sight of the fact that they are children.
Hollywood’s Child Sex Abuse Coverup
Some of them apply to women as well, but I think it is vital to understand that men get depression, and that asking for help is not a sign of “weakness”.
This is how we end up with a ridiculously high number of suicides among men, when society tells us it’s not OK to ask for help, and your only choices are to deal with depression without any hope of recovery, or be mocked because you aren’t a real man. It’s easy to see why you’d opt for a way out of that choice, but that is not the truth.
7 Dangerous Myths about Depression in Men
This is profoundly sad, and somewhat shocking, because there simply are no resources available to treat mental illness.
They’re Invisible In China: Portraits Of The Mentally Ill
Are any of these myths holding you back from healing? I know I’ve seen comments here, and on other sites, that make me think there are still too many survivors believing these!
4 Myths That Make Healing Nearly Impossible
In my humble opinion, being able to use a profoundly negative experience like child abuse as a way to help others dealing with the same trauma is a great way of moving past the victim mentality. As you may know, my day job is in training, so you probably won’t be surprised that I see a straight line path from learning something to sharing that knowledge. I truly believe that it’s a sign of maturity and health to want to share what we know as we go through the healing process. Sometimes that can come across a little strong and overbearing, but I’d rather see survivors sharing, and learning how to more appropriately share through practice, than not trying to help other survivors.
So yeah, I think looking outside of your own experience is a strong sign of healing, as well as something that we, as a community, should strive to do.
How has helping others helped you in your healing? Or have you had the opposite experience?
Surviving Child Sexual Abuse By Helping Others
Another youth sport infected by sexual abuse. It’s sad that something that can do so much for teaching kids self-esteem, teamwork and confidence is, in fact, stripping that all away by victimizing them instead. We need to get this eradicated from all youth sports, whether it be hockey, swimming, tae kwon do, gymnastics or any other activity!
Athletes accuse coach of years of abuse
As if we needed more proof that child abuse happens everywhere. It’s not just one group in the US, UK, Ireland, etc. there are groups all over the world, in powerful positions who abuse children, while we continue to look for the “creepy”, anti-social guy we’ve been led to belief should be the target of our fears.
Child abuse scandal shocks Pakistan, families angry with police
The choice to share your story or not, and who to share it with, is an intensely personal one. This article points out some of the benefits of doing it, but doesn’t really address the reasons why a survivor might not share. What do you think? What made you decide to share, or not share?
6 Reasons To Reveal Childhood Sexual Abuse