Sharing this as a resource for others! If you, or someone close to you, needs help, get it!
Interesting description of what it’s like to deal with social anxiety. As a survivor I was never officially diagnosed as having social anxiety but I know that I was extremely shy, fearful of how other people viewed me, and generally avoided most situations that called for a lot of personal interaction. As I healed from the abuse, that fear also went away, but I can recall many of the same things that are written about here.
BPT – Believe, Present and say Thank You.
Good advice for how to handle any survivor who shares their story with you, not just males.
I think this quote really hit home for me as I think about my healing, and others. When we’ve lived for so long as one thing, even if it’s not healthy, changing requires us to see ourselves in a new way. It requires tearing down the current vision of ourselves and rebuilding it. In the middle of that process, this quote is wholly accurate.
“My clients in the above workshop were confronted with an existential crisis. They didn’t know who they were anymore. They could draft business plans, complete financial models, write inspirational speeches—but when they looked in the mirror, they didn’t know what they saw.
This disorientation led to weeks and months of stopping and starting, coming and going, and launching and pulling back. To outside observers, the situation seemed schizophrenic. Criticism was constant.
Yet, my brave clients were on the front lines of an enormous struggle. They were redefining who they were as people. Making the business changes was the easy part. Knowing who they were was hard.”
We would do well to remember this about anyone trying to heal, or overcome depression, or any other trauma. They are in the midst of trying to redefine themselves, which requires a time of not knowing who they are. Not knowing who you are can look quite messy from the outside, but it’s an important part of getting to the next step, knowing who you are now, and using that understanding to move past the trauma.
Quotes from predators:
“”[P]arents are so naive—they’re worried about strangers and should be worried about their brother–in–law. They just don’t realize how devious we can be. I used to abuse children in the same room with their parents and they couldn’t see it or didn’t seem to know it was happening.”
“I was disabled and spent months grooming the parents, so they would tell their children to take me out and help me. No one thought that disabled people could be abusers.”
“[P]arents are partly to blame if they don’t tell their children about [sexual matters]—I used it to my advantage by teaching the child myself.”
“[P]arents shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about things like this—it’s harder to abuse or trick a child who knows what you’re up to.””
Infographic that was sent to me by the folks at TopCounselingSchools.Org:
I’d agree. Whether talking about child abuse survivors or folks with depression, you are not alone.
It can be hard to watch the person you love most in the world, and be unable to make it better. You may not be able to make it go away, but you can support them.
Another good list of things to keep in mind, and ways we can all look out for each other a little better.
This is interesting. There’s no question that our mental health system in the US is not getting the job done, and a big reason is because it simply isn’t funded properly. But could it be the stigma of mental illness that is causing that problem in the first place? Could it be that not having sympathy and understanding for those “crazies” leads to an underfunded system? It definitely doesn’t help!