Hey look, here’s a another male victim of childhood sexual abuse, someone many of us are familiar with, who is in the public eye, and who’s father was also sexually abused.
Tell me again how sexual abuse doesn’t happen in your circle, only to other people. If you think that, you’re wrong. It happens everywhere, to all kinds of people. So stop with the stigma.
With all the attention on sexual abuse in the UK lately, this resource from iTV might be a good things to share with all of our readers in the UK.
“The impact of verbal aggression and abuse tends to be discounted and marginalized in our culture; there seems to be an unspoken agreement that such abuse is “only words,” as people cite the children’s rhyme: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.”
But science couldn’t be more categorical in its disagreement, especially when it comes to children, their developing brains, and the lasting effects of verbal abuse.”
Words matter, especially words spoken to children while their brain and self-identity are still developing. It’s not right to verbally abuse anyone, even adults, but the far-reaching effects of verbal abuse on children who look to adults to help them identify who they are, can be devastating. Read on and learn more.
“According to new research, sexual victimization by women is more common than gender stereotypes would suggest. “
Speaking of there not being a “type” of person who commits sexual assault against children, there are a lot of interesting numbers coming from studies in this article. Go read it, and prepare to be surprised.
Mr Cannon said: ‘I believe if my adoptive dad was in a heterosexual relationship then my complaints would have been listened to earlier.
‘It seems the council didn’t want to be seen as victimising gay people – they would rather look politically correct and let them get away with it to avoid any repercussions.
Ultimately, this is the danger of thinking we know what “type” of person abuses children. No, child abusers come in all forms, men, women, straight, gay, white, black, and every other type of person you want to name. There is no type of person who abuses children and we should not ignore someone’s complaints because their abuser doesn’t fit our profile.
“It would be a mistake, however, to focus our anger on one ignorant bigot. Bristow was giving crude form to attitudes which, for many male survivors, are all too familiar. The expectations that males – even young boys – can and should be able to fight off attackers is every bit as prevalent and as toxic as the assumption that female victims of sexual violence must have led their attackers on. Men who report sexual violence to police may still find themselves interrogated about their sexual orientation, as if that were in any way relevant.
Tragically, the assumption that male victims of sexual abuse do not need or deserve consideration even infects government and social policy. In too many parts of the country males still find that specialist counselling, therapy or support groups are only available to female survivors. Remarkably, the offences allegedly committed by men in positions of trust, against boys, within the macho realm of football, are still categorised by the Home Office and the Crown Prosecution Service as “violence against women and girls“.”
The story of child abuse within the youth football ranks is proving to be a huge story in the UK. Unfortunately, not everyone is making news for supporting the men who have come forward with their stories. Being in Europe myself this week, I first heard about the tweets from Eric Bristow on the BBC broadcast here in Switzerland. I had very much the same thought tht Ally did in this article, just what male victims of sexual violence need, a famous person questioning their manhood, their sexual orientation and their ability to fight off an assault as a young boy.
It is beyond time we recognize sexual violence against boys the same way we do for girls.
Eric Bristow is one of many bigots who need challenging on male sex abuse
Pastors aren’t immune to the rising suicide rates. More than half of pastors have counseled people who were later diagnosed with a mental illness (59 percent), and about a quarter say they’ve experienced some type of mental illness themselves (23 percent). According to LifeWay, 12 percent have been diagnosed with a mental health condition.
Chuck Hannaford, a clinical psychologist who consults for the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), said he believes the rate of pastor suicides has increased during his 30 years of practice. And he expects the number will continue to rise.
“Being a pastor is a dangerous job,” he said. “Especially in certain evangelical circles, where you have more of a fundamentalist orientation theologically, you find pastors who will reduce their depression or their negative thought processes to strictly spiritual problems.”
Indeed, a 2013 LifeWay survey found that 48 percent of self-identified evangelical, fundamentalist, or born-again Christians believe prayer and Bible study alone can overcome mental illness.
I wish I was surprised by the growth in suicides of pastors, but unfortunately that last line tells us everything we need to know. Too many believers are convinced that mental illness is a problem of faith instead of health, and they are being led by pastors in that believe.
It’s also a belief that is costing people their lives. It needs to stop.
Despite all of this, we still find ourselves immediately defaulting to judgment when he finally falls to pieces in public in a very real and big way. We spent the rest of the weekend pointing at Kanye’s misfortune, his confusion, his aggression, and saying “Look, there he goes again. He’s such an asshole.” Because the ugly truth about the way we think about mental illness, especially when it comes to celebrities, is this: It’s okay — admirable, even — to say you have it. But it’s not okay to show it.
It’s kind of like when Britney Spears was shaving her head and swinging umbrellas at cars, and we laughed at how she might lose her kids over her erratic behavior. Then there was the time Amanda Bynes started crashing her car and wearing terrible wigs and tweeting at Drake to “murder her vagina,” so we watched and laughed and retweeted it a million times.
But then Robin Williams died by suicide after a battle with Lewy Body Dementia, and we couldn’t believe it. The world had just lost a true talent; we cried. He was the star of so many of our most beloved movies. Why didn’t he reach out for help? Why didn’t he tell anyone? Well, guys, maybe it’s because he saw that we were all busy gawking at headlines about Amanda Bynes accidentally setting her dog on fire.
There’s definitely an issue here. We see someone famous breaking down, and we laugh and mock them. How do you think that sounds to the people around you who might be struggling with their own mental health issues?
If you want to know why you’ve been married three – or more — times. Or why you just can’t stop smoking. Or why the ability to control your drinking is slipping away from you. Or why you have so many physical problems that doctors just can’t seem to help you with. Or why you feel as if there’s no joy in your life even though you’re
“successful”, there’s a book that will show how the problems that you’ve been grappling with in your adult life have their roots in childhood events that you probably didn’t even consider had any bearing on what you’re dealing with now. After hundreds of interviews and two years of writing, science journalist Donna Jackson Nakazawa’s long-awaited book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal, hits the bookstores (and e-bookstores) on Tuesday.
This seems like a really interesting book, and the interview with the author is also very interesting. While the book is not specifically about child abuse, I think survivors would count that abuse as a type of childhood trauma!
It’s also nice that Donna looks at all of the research and finds that there is hope!
In “Childhood Disrupted”, Donna Jackson Nakazawa explains how your biography becomes your biology…and that you really can heal
In times like this, it’s important to take advantage of the opportunity that just stopped us in our tracks. It may not seem like an opportunity; probably more like a road block, but it is a chance to add another tool to our survivor tool belt.
This is true, even the struggles are part of moving forward, as long as we use the struggles to learn new skills, or to sharpen current ones that help us survive. Check out the whole article though!
Get back up, dust yourself off, and keep going!