It seems like whatever people thought they were going to get from any enquiry it’s going to be Diet Justice and waiting for people to die and just labeling them paedos without spending money to have a proper trial when they’re alive.
“According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in America in 2014. This means someone in the U.S. died by suicide every 12.3 minutes that year. But with early intervention, support and treatment, suicide is preventable. If we help those at risk — and make help more accessible for those who need it — we can live in a world where these numbers shrink.
If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal or just needs someone to talk to, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. To learn more about the warning signs of suicide, head here.
For now, hear these messages from members of our Mighty community who’ve been there. We hope their words give you the push to get the help you need and deserve.
Here’s what they want to tell anyone who’s in a dark place:”
Go read them, and share with anyone you know who might need to read them.
“Hypersexuality is a common side effect of sexual trauma (as is avoiding sex altogether). I didn’t know this at the time I wrote that piece. During that period of my life, I wasn’t just, “taking a guy home from the party because I wanted to.” I was actively going on Tinder and looking for guys to meet at bars and then bring home with me, because I felt like I needed to.
My logic was: If I can sleep with random people, that means I’m fine. That means my trauma doesn’t affect me.
Oh, the irony.
I didn’t realize that this was a completely normal reaction to sexual trauma until I talked about it in therapy, and my counselor assured me that it was a common response.”
This is true of adults who were sexually abused as children as well. Yes, many survivors grow up completely uninterested in sex, but for others the opposite is true. There can be many reasons for it, but it’s most important to understand that you are not alone, and that all survivors react differently to trauma. Just because one survivor displays the opposite reaction doesn’t mean your trauma was any less damaging.
Most importantly, healing is possible regardless!
It will lie. It will do everything possible to prevent you from getting the help and support you need. Do not believe it.
How many of these lies did you believe for too long? I know I believed all of them for far too long.
“A mental health condition has nothing to do with what kind of person you are. It doesn’t mean you overreact to things, that you’re “just” feeling down, that you’re incompetent, that you’re weak, or that you’re “crazy.” Just as people who struggle with a physical health issue need and deserve support, people with a mental health issue need and deserve the same.”
This article not only talks about the importance of having a support network, but also has some practical things you can do to create one.
Perhaps just as importantly, it also takes a realistic approach, recognizing that some people are going to be more supportive than others. That’s true, but don’t let it stop you. Lots of people are uncomfortable with mental health issues. Unfortunately, that is likely because too many people around them have been afraid to talk about it so they have no experience with it.
The more we all can talk, the better we’ll all be.
“So, this year, if you make one resolution, stop looking into that lying mirror. Instead, start looking into the eyes of the people who love you. When you’re reeling, when you want to give into the dark, talk to your people about your mental health struggles. Ask them if your deepest fears are grounded in truth. Ask them what they see when they look at you. Ask them to help you fight back this darkness.
Your family has a stake in you loving yourself. Their love is real; that lying mirror is not. Deep, true, rooted love is the only way back from your nightmares. True self-love is the only way back to sanity.”
However you define your “family”, and I know that many survivors the people who love them and their natural family are different groups, be sure to talk to them about your struggles. I know from my own experience with depression how much it lies and warps your perception of yourself. It’s important to get out of your own head when your head is lying to you!
“You may have just been told by your partner that he or she was sexually abused in childhood. You may have been suspecting this for a while. The world, as you know it, is reeling, and worse, you may know, and even like, the perpetrator, if it was a family member.
Remember that you must see your partner’s disclosure in a positive light: she (for ease of reading, the feminine pronoun will be used from now on although this article applies as much to men as to women) is entrusting you with a very private part of her life. It may make her feel vulnerable, insecure and/or frightened. What should you do to honour that trust and help in the healing journey?”
I have seen this from all sides. Obviously, I’ve been the survivor, I’ve also been in dating relationships with other survivors in the past. I’ve watched good friends deal with someone they love disclosing their past abuse, and watched survivor friends go through the process of sharing their story with their partner. There’s nothing easy about it. Whether sharing it with a partner, or hearing it from your partner, it’s changes things between you, and if not handled well, it can end a relationship.
No one expects you to handle it perfectly, but if someone you care about has shared this with you, these are good things to keep in mind.
“When researchers asked what did provide comfort to someone who was estranged from a close family member, people said “having someone listen” to them, “being seen as normal,” having someone telling them that they were “an okay person,” and hearing that others had similar experiences all eased the pains. But the strong underlying message is that the complexity of parents and their adult children deserves greater prominence.”
This article isn’t specifically about child abuse, but I know a lot of survivors are facing this reality. They are estranged from their family, and that is difficult, even when it’s clearly the right thing to do. It can be the healthiest thing for you, but doesn’t mean you don’t get to mourn what you don’t have within your family. Not having a family to spend the holidays with, or share childhood memories with, sucks. Nothing can replace that, but we can certainly find our own group of supporters who can become our “family”.
“”For a sexual abuse victim, getting family support is a must. It leaves the child mentally traumatised and can also cause severe depression for a lifetime. In the survey, we found that 20 per cent respondents reported abuse to parents but only about half of the parents enquired further into the matter,” said Dr Mundada. He said all respondents who were victims confessed that the abuser was known to them beforehand.”
This was a small survey done in India, and I’m not sure that we can extrapolate those percentages exactly, but it’s still startling. However, that’s not the part that I found most troublesome. The last line of that quote is the most troublesome.
He said all respondents who were victims confessed that the abuser was known to them beforehand.
For all of you who think registries, stranger danger education, and keeping kids way from “creeps” will be enough to actually protect them, think again. Kids are abused the vast majority of the time by people they know, and who are either part of the family, or closely connected to the family. Given that, how do you protect them?
1. Teach children about bad touch, and make sure they know to tell you about anyone, ANYONE, who tries to hurt them, or wants them to keep secrets.
2. Make sure your relationship with you child is such that they don’t want to keep secrets from you. Open, honest communication is vital.
3. Make sure your kids know they are loved, supported, and believed. Strong kids, with strong parental bonds, and a strong sense of themselves, make poor targets.
What else would you add?
“Hawking gave a poignant message to people suffering from depression, making a poetic comparison between depression and a black hole – no matter how dark they seem, neither are impossible to escape.
Hawking said: “The message of this lecture is that black holes ain’t as black as they are painted. They are not the eternal prisons they were once thought.
“Things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don’t give up – there’s a way out.””
I love this.