Comments on: Outliers and Emotional Intelligence

By: marj aka thriver

marj aka thriver — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:35:09 +0000

This is such a great post for The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Thanks for contributing it!

By: Ciara B

Ciara B — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:55:12 +0000

Wow that was great. I noticed that a previous commenter said that they had looked into autism and this is something that I have thought about too. I feel like I can relate on so many levels and there is a huge amount of comfort to be found in that.
Thank you for the post!

By: Nancy Richards

Nancy Richards — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:07:37 +0000

Great post! I spent a great deal of time in my forties learning to internalize emotional qualities that I should have learned as a child (and that I didn’t know I lacked when I was younger). Even at 51, I still often have to force myself to nurture myself in ways that should have been built into my internal wiring.

By: SG - Child Protective Services

SG - Child Protective Services — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 01:49:39 +0000

Wow … This was a very eye opening article that really hit home. I often find myself in similar situations, as far as not wanting to reach out, or not knowing how to reach out and ask for help. Social / Emotional Intelligence is very important for survival in this world and especially in the work force. This is something that I battle with within myself when placed in unfamiliar social environments.

By: marj aka thriver

marj aka thriver — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:56:14 +0000

This is very interesting to me. Yeah, I often feel like I’m just now learning things I should have learned in childhood–at least adolescence!

I finally got a post up at my blog that talks about the Child Abuse Survivors ning. I want to start inviting folks to join this great, ever-expanding group!

By: MikeM

MikeM — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 00:36:10 +0000

I was similarly struck as I was reading about emotional intelligence, and how much it fits exactly what happens. Like you all have said, there’s a certain sense of “truth” that I could just feel as the idea rattled around in my head. It fits with what I’ve seen and the things I’ve felt like I needed to learn over the last few years, moreso than other explanations.

By: DoubleNine

DoubleNine — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 14:16:49 +0000

Hey new people! Welcome, and hope you see you on the Support Network.

Mike, under current circumstances I bet you’re glad you don’t work on Wall Street.

But once again it’s another accurate post that describes my situation, and when I was restarting therapy after New Year it occured to me that the times I was confident, happy, smiling, making eye contact, was when I was physically fit. So I have to get back to that state to have half a chance of making it at anything I want to do, I didn’t even make it a goal for this year I just identified fitness as a need.

@ jumpingpuddles/lifesspacings – I get that, in middle age you have your friends and making new ones just seems like too much work. However I think it’s good if you can meet new people, for example during some kind of activity weekend or class/whatever and get on really well with with strangers in a group environment – but not get emotionally attached and down when they leave. I also missed out on those social/emotional growth lessons you learn as a teenager going out with your friends, because I mostly just didn’t, I was a homebody or went to friends’ houses, and that has held me back.

So now the classes I’m taking get me out of the house and force me to be more social with strangers. No-one’s going to get you out of that rut but you. There isn’t the same issue with childhood schooling with the cliques or popularity BS, so it’s a really good way to help yourself gradually get more confident.

Enjoy the block and network, hope to chat to you both on the latter soon!

By: jumpinginpuddles/lifesspacings

jumpinginpuddles/lifesspacings — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 05:54:11 +0000

we often find its harder now we are older to even bother trying to find people we can relate to. its seems far more simple to introvert ourselves, safer is perhaps the word. Our abuse certainly taught us no one can be trusted and unfortunately like many survivors these plaques of bullshit stick.
Marja invited us here if thats not ok please let us know

thanks

By: asrais

asrais — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 01:30:40 +0000

Oh thanks for putting that into perspective for me.

I have trouble relating and connecting with people. I’ve been teaching myself to ask more questions of people and looking people in the eye (I really struggle with eye contact).

I’ve read up on autism in the past and I’ve felt like I fit into that category, because I don’t connect with others. Of course, having no other tendancies, it didn’t fit. This fits.

Onward we go, expanding who we are. I’ve learned to stick to writing when I can to communicate.