Personaly I find my choice to self-identify as a survivor as validating, empowering, and healing. I have lots of self chosen labels. I have had family members accuse me of choosing to be miserable and making myself and my life worse. They disagree with the label and working on healing. Ignoring my past is the most often repeated advice. Many other people have encouraged this, at times, even other survivors of child sexual abuse.

I agree that balance and finding self-identifying labels that are empowering, varied, and bring us a life of healing and joy are important components for anyone, including survivors.

Thanks so much Mike for your blog.

Kate

I don’t write about my recovery process from incest because I want applause or even recognition, even though it does feel good when people praise the courage that they see in my struggle. Like Mike, I write because when I needed to see that other people knew what I was experiencing, someone was there for me. I believe that it is very important to pass on what we learn to those coming along after us. I don’t want to show others what normal is. Normal, for me, was being abused by my dad and ignored by my mother. I want to show others what healthy is. I mean that physically, emotionally and mindfully. Normal, for me, was going through life silently enduring the pain and sadness. Today, I am not silent. I have taken hold of my own power to change the world.

Now I am off to read Faith’s article that directed Mike to write his article.

In addition to all of that I have to say that I love my life and I love myself. This is a statement I could not imagine making a few months ago. However, I fully realize that EVERY experience I have had has brought me to the person I am today. While I would not voluntarily choose child abuse as my path to healing and growing as a person, how can I argue with it has made me who I am. This will be a very unpopular sentiment with many readers yet what I have realized is that because of the path I have walked I feel strong enough to speak my truth. Yes, I wish all forms of war, abuse, murder, etc. could be culled from the planet. The fact is that they cannot. I do not phone my parents up and thank them for the abuse (in fact I do not speak to them) however, it has formed me and I like me. I am a child abuse survivor, I am a wife, stepmom, gourmet cook, writer, blogger, and many other things. They are all a part of who I am and I would not try (at this point) to deny any of them.

I found your insights into my blog entry interesting. I think that we agree much more than we disagree on this issue. :0)

I have written a response to your topic over on my blog (http://faithallen.wordpress.com/), which will publish on Monday, 3/30. I have included a link back over to your blog. so hopefully I will drive some traffic your way. :0)

Take care,

- Faith (Blooming Lotus)