Sometimes, when we are in the midst of dealing with the absolute worst of our issues, and trying to overcome the effects childhood abuse is having on our adult lives, the best thing anyone can do for us is give us one less thing to worry about.
Think about it, if someone you care about is struggling with finding the right anti-depressant, or going through an intense period in therapy, or even struggling with telling their family about the abuse, you can’t necessarily do much more than listen. You might find that frustrating, but it’s reality. Somethings we just need to go through on our own, and you really can’t get involved and protect us from them.
On the other hand, in the midst of those very stressful situations, sometimes we don’t have the energy to go grocery shopping, or get some laundry done, or we have to juggle appointments with picking up the kids at school, etc. Those are exactly the things you can help a survivor with. Look, there’s a reason why when someone dies, people bring food. They know that getting groceries and fixing dinner for the kids is the last thing on your mind, so they take care of that for you. They can’t fix what happened, but they can allow you to grieve without worrying about what’s for dinner. If you are close to a survivor, and see them struggling with their past, aside from being there to listen, and support them as much as you can, maybe simply taking a thing or two off their to-do list would do much more good than you can possibly imagine.
It certainly can’t hurt, and doing something is better than feeling helpless. Give it a try.