Category Archives: Recommended Reading

Take Care of Yourself

Over at the revamped No Longer Silence Movement website, they’ve put together a list titled “Treat Yourself“.

I am not pointing to it because I think there’s any new amazing revelation in this list of ways to take care of yourself. In fact, if you look at it, it’s mostly full of very common sense ways that adults should take of themselves on a day to day basis. On the other hand, that’s exactly the point. I’ve said many times that when you are surviving an abusive, horrific, childhood, you are too busy surviving what is happening to pick up the subtle lessons of life that you should be learning as you grow up. When we should have been learning about how to dress, good hygiene, ways to deal with stress, etc. we were learning how to hide, how to deflect attention, how to disconnect emotionally and all of the other defense mechanisms that we used to protect ourselves.

Healing for that, is learning how to move forward and live an adult life. This list is a nice place to start, and to understand that we are worthy of the care that we give ourselves.

The August 2014 Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

Thanks to everyone who submitted something to share with other survivors for this month’s carnival!

This month, I decided to repeat a theme that the carnival has had before, change, for my own personal reasons. As it turns out, the very day that this edition goes “live” on my site, happens to also be the last day that I will live in South Carolina. My wife is pursuing an opportunity in Oregon, and I will be leaving and driving out there to join her. Since my work involves both travel and working from home when I am not traveling, I do get to keep that the same, but obviously, we are undertaking some pretty big changes!

As a survivor, and as someone who interacts with survivors, I see how difficult change can be. It presents us with things that are uncomfortable, unknowable, and beyond our control. For survivors, that can be scary, but change is part of life, and learning to deal with it is an important part of healing.

So, along with that theme, we have a few posts that speak specifically about change:

Charlotte Issyvoo, from her Sublime Mercies blog, shared When Home was Hell – Love After Slavery.

Meanwhile, April Phelps Downey asks an important question, “Is it Possible that Change Isn’t a Bad Thing?

I also decided to weigh in, with my post about this move, and how making small changes helps us learn how and feel confident about making bigger ones, Dealing with Change and Challenges.

We also have some posts shared for the regular categories as well!

Advocacy and Awareness:

Tracie was keeping an eye on recent news and wrote about Grooming, Mel Hall, and Disclosures of Abuse; What Parents Need to Know.

Jayneen Sanders offers up lots of good information in Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse, and Dave Pittman adds more with How and When to Talk About Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Art therapy:

Steve Head shared a collage along with these words, “This is a new art piece I felt compelled to do. I have been carrying the story in my heart and in my head for over 50 years, and it feels great to finally put it on canvas to share with others:

“Visiting Uncle Oscar” by Steve Head Digital Collage by Head2art”

Aftermath:

Dave from Together We Heal shared He Would Tell Me.

Healing and Therapy:

Dave Pittman also suggested this post under the healing and therapy category, One Thing Leads to Another, which I enjoyed not just for the reminder of the 80’s song title, but also because it points out how starting down the healing path can lead to all sorts of changes and opportunities to give back to other survivors following on that path.

Along those same lines, I want to add Another Good Reason to Talk About Child Abuse.

Survivor Stories:

Patricia Grace submitted a post that actually is the first few chapters of her book, Shattered.

The ever prolific this month, Dave Pittman, sent along a survivors stories piece, The Invisible Hand on Your Mouth! (Trigger Warning)

Thanks to everyone for the submissions! For those of you submitting for the first time, I hope to continue to see your work in future carnivals, and for those of you who’ve been around this scene for awhile, thank you for keeping this going through the years. I think it’s important to have this regular reminder that there is a large community of survivors out there, that we are not alone. For those of you just reading this and seeing that, indeed, you are not alone, please be sure to share this with your circles and get that same message out as far and wide as we can!

Oh and last, but certainly not least, thank you Tracie for allowing me to host this month, and for keeping this ball rolling!

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse for August – Change

I’m going to be hosting the monthly Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse here this month. Since this is a month where I am facing some big changes in life, including moving across the country at the end of it, I thought why not look into the topic of change. As survivors, change can be terrifying. We are comforted by control and predictability, so change isn’t something that we naturally look forward to. But it doesn’t have to stay that way! I’d love to hear from some folks this month who have managed to embrace change, make changes in their own lives, and how they’ve overcome this fear of change!

As always, we will have the regular topics as well and I look forward to seeing all of you submitting a post, old or new, for this month’s carnival!

-Advocacy and Awareness
-Aftermath
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Poetry
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

To submit an article, you can fill out this submission form. To find out more about this “Blog carnival” thing, you can check out Tracie’s page for more details. The deadline for submissions is Weds. Aug 27.  The carnival will go live on Friday Aug 29, the day before I move actually. ;-)

Now let’s put together a chorus of survivor’s voices for this month’s carnival and show the world that we’re out here!

Featured Posts From the Past

What to Say and What Not to Say

Ginger Kadlec, over on her blog, has a couple of really good posts about how to handle being told that someone is either currently being abused, or was sexually abused as a child. I recommend that you take a look and be prepared before someone in your life shares their story with you.

20 Wrong Things to Say to Sexual Abuse Survivors

5 Good Things to Say to Sexual Abuse Survivors

Best Depression Blogs

I can’t necessarily vouch for every blog on the list, but the Depression Treatment Center has put together a list of the Best Depression Blogs over on their site. In their words:

Finding the best blogs on depression and depressive disorders can take a lot of time and can be depressing all on its own. We have compiled a list of the best blogs on depression that you can keep an eye on without having to do your own searching. Each one has been selected based on quality of information as well as how frequently it is updated. We know that you will find these quality blogs to be just as informative as we do and well worth reading.

Whether you are searching for help yourself, to help a loved one or just for more knowledge, we’ve got you covered. We have handpicked the top ten best blogs about depression on the Internet. These authors are depression survivors, physicians and therapists who want to help. The newest studies, firsthand accounts and helpful tips are just some of the great morsels you’ll find in our top ten.

I am only familiar with a couple of the blogs on the list, but if you’re on the lookout for more information about depression, and want to follow some blogs that you can continue to learn from, you could do a lot worse than starting with these 10.

What are your favorite blogs on depression?

Me Elsewhere

If you’re interested in a little interview I did recently with the founder of the No Longer Silent Movement, you can check it out over on their blog.

As I mentioned before, I think it’s a great thing that Nicolette is trying to reach survivors at a young age. So many of us went through such pain and misery in our adult years because we didn’t get help, or tried to keep our issues secret. How I wish survivors would not do that to themselves! Hopefully, giving them a role model (Not that I consider myself a role model, but I am someone who survived, and has overcome an abusive past) will let them know that they are not alone, and are on a path that others have taken before them.