Archive for the ‘Recommended Reading’ Category

October Carnival Against Child Abuse

Sunday, October 28th, 2007

I’ve been off-line for a couple of days, enjoying some vacation time with the wife. Tonight we’re in Boone, NC with free wi-fi so I’m spending just a little bit of time getting caught up on some things. One of those things is pointing out that the October Edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse is up. Check it out for some interesting reads.

At least, that’ll give you plenty to read while you wait for me to have some more writing time. :)

Share

Child Safety Podcast

Friday, October 19th, 2007

I got an email this week from Heidi Nabert, producer of the Boo Boo Gone Podcast.

Parents and Kids don’t like Boo Boos, and here at BooBooGone.com we focus on preventing Boo Boos BEFORE they happen. Kids have a right to feel safe, secure and protected, and in today’s fast-paced society with both parents working or in divorced families where kids live in two different homes, being prepared for safety is even more paramount.

BooBooGone.com’s bi-monthly Podcast is produced as a series which focuses on a specific Safety Topic beginning with an in depth interview with an expert followed by several short tips that you and your family can implement right away.

Since she’s a fellow survivor trying to draw attention to issues of child safety, I definitely wanted to point out the show to those parents who are regular readers of the blog. If you’re not familiar with podcast, or how to subscribe to them, drop me a line and I’ll see what I can do to help you navigate the waters of RSS, podcasts, and all those other blogging related techie terms. :)

 

Technorati tags: , ,
Share

Another Book Recommendation

Monday, August 27th, 2007

This one was sent to me in an email from a loyal reader of the site.

Boy Grows Up

This is the second book by Richard McCann, who’s story is a little more unique as the son of one victim of England’s most notorious serial killers of the 1970s and he’s only two years older than I am, so on the extreme discipline to physical abuse aspect of his story, I can relate.

The predecessor, Just a Boy, was one of the first physical abuse survival memoirs I took out of the library.

I was more interested in this second book which details his meeting of his wife and his efforts to trace other now-grown-up children of other victims of the same killer – as well as his Yorkshire-born ingrained toughness and determination to get on with his life. My only regret is having to watch the pennies and getting the paperback, which now has a fold down the spine, but it’s one of these books with so many chapter stops that you can dip into the parts you wish to re-read very quickly. I will make the hardback a gift to myself I liked it that much.

I can definitely see where a toughness and determination to “get on with live” would be rather inspiring to read. For many survivors, it’s that toughness to get on with life that we don’t give ourselves enough credit for. We tend to focus on our struggles, and forget just how tough we had to be to have survived thus far in the first place.

Thanks for the recommendation!

Tags: , , ,

Share

Book Review

Monday, August 6th, 2007

The fine folks at Hyperion Books contacted me about doing a review of Ten Points, by Bill Strickland. They even sent me a free copy of the book to review on the blog.

Disclaimer, they did send me a free book, on the other hand, now that I’ve read and reviewed it, I’ll be running a contest, of some sort, in the near future to give the book away, so I’m not really getting any benefit from agreeing to review it, aside from reading it for free.

Discalimer #2, I’m not a book reviewer by profession, nor do I claim to be one, so remember, this isn’t the New york Times Review, just one survivor’s opinion. :)

First off let me say this about the book. If you’re looking for the typical child abuse memoir, with the typical chronology of the abusive childhood, followed by the troubled years, followed by a long journey of healing, you will be disappointed by this book. On the other hand, that’s exactly what I liked about this story. This wasn’t yet another memoir about the struggles of healing from a broken childhood, this was a story set during one particular bike racing season, when a 39 year old man takes on the physical challenge of trying to score ten points in the weekly races at the request of his daughter.

It’s a story about working towards a difficult goal, and learning about yourself in the process. In this case, it’s learning to identify, and overcome, the “monster” that rages inside of abuse victims.

Now, granted, as a fellow 39 year old who has been interested in bike racing since I was a little kid and used to watch the Tour de France on televison, obviously the story was going to hold my attention. The descriptions of riding in the pack, or the physical demands of sprinting toward a finish line are told in such detail that I can easily identify with the struggle. But even if you’re not all that interested in bike racing, I think the all too common themes of struggle, of identifying how those things you’ve tried so hard to put behind you still affect you on a daily basis, and of learning to live with them, will be useful to survivors of all types.

For example, one of the themes that struck me as I read this story is the fear and shame of failing at a goal. Many survivors, myself included, struggle with  failure in ways that other people don’t seem to comprehend. Even the smallest project can become a source of great frustration, even rage, when we are unable to complete it, or the task will simply consume us until it is completed, no matter how unimportant it may really be. Many survivors live with a very strong sense of shame about what happened to them, as if their failure was a cause of being abused as much, if not more than, the abuser. Failing at any task, no matter how small, means reliving all that shame that has built up over the years in the present. Shame is a very powerful emotion, and the avoidance of shame is a very powerful motivator. To some extent that is natural, no one wants to fail at any task.  To the shamed survivor though, it’s not just about this one task. The current task is a symbol of all the shame and failure he/she has lived with for many years.

That’s the beauty of this story, because it does take place over one short period of time, and focusing on one task as symbolic of all the tasks that go into a life, it gives you insight into the inner workings of a survivor as he focuses on one task. It shows us, without any sugar coating, how painful abuse can be, even long after the actual abuse has stopped. More importantly, Bill shows us these details while weaving a wonderful tale of competition around all of these other themes. Well done.

Tags: , ,

Share

More Information from an emailer

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

Got another good tip for information about something I really don’t have much experience with myself, cultic ritual abuse. As always, passing it along for the benefit of those who may be interested.

3 of my friends have written a book about the sexual  abuse and physical brutalization they suffered in a cult called The Family.

The book Not Without My Sister has just been released in the UK and is at number 7 for all hard back book sales we are really trying to get it to number 1 so as the issue is at the forefront of peoples minds…and we believe it will promote our organization which has been set up to protect children from abuse in cults: RISE International

The book website is here:
http://www.notwithoutmysister.co.uk/index.php

and our organization site is here:
www.riseinternationalcic.org

Tags: , , ,

Share