Why does this place exist? That’s probably what you’re wondering, or at least it’s running a close second to “Who is this freak?”, right? Both are fairly legitimate questions, I will admit that. The reasoning for this site goes back to about 1997.
In January of that year, I found myself destitute and hospitalized, in the process of a divorce, forced to move into my parents house in order to recuperate from my illness. Having no money, and unable to leave the house much, I found myself with a lot of time and an internet connection. I started building a website, using the free tools at Geocities, writing about what was going on in my head, what had driven me to the place in which I found myself. It was a release, but it was also something else.
The other thing that I found was that other people felt the same way I did. That what I had written had somehow managed to reach across the ether and connect with them. Most importantly, as I struggled to understand the damage that had been done to my adult life by a childhood full of abuse and sadness, I found that I wasn’t the only one. I wasn’t alone, despite the fact that I had never felt more alone in my life. There were others out there, people who were trying so desperately to make any kind of normal life for themselves after having suffered the devastation that comes from being a victim of child abuse. This site is for them.
I continued to use Geocities as the home, until Jan 2003, when a friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, donated a hosting account to me for this particular use. I now embark on a journey of building a new site, one that I hope will be bigger and better than the last, using new tools that allow for that. But in the end, all I really want is to know that this site helped someone feel a little less alone. That’s reward enough.
Now about me, well I am now 49 years old. I’ve since met and married a wonderfully supporting and loving wife, and after having spent close to 10 years learning and working in the IT field, moved into working in Litigation Support at a law firm. You can learn more about that side of my life on my tech site. I’ve been off anti-depressants, and out of therapy for almost as long, having been deemed healthy enough to continue on my own. That doesn’t mean life is a bed of roses, it simply means that I’ve learned enough to know how to take care of myself when the rough times come, and they always do. I guess the reality is that you never really leave the abuse behind, you just learn better coping mechanisms.
Finally, I want to welcome you to my little corner of the Web, and ask that if anyone has anything they want to contribute to the site, whether it be an essay, or just an idea for something you’d like, drop me a line at webmaster at childabusesurvivor dot net.