First off, thank you Ana, for sharing this. I think what she experienced is just the tip of the iceberg, but it’s also clear that for many people, male abuse victims just aren’t really considered, because that’s not who we think about when we consider sexual abuse and assault. But; we are out there.
“In a quiet gesture of remembrance, I posted a graphic to Facebook from Suicide Prevention Awareness that began “Boys get cheated on” and ended with “Boys commit suicide.” I gave it no thought beyond its synchronicity of showing up this of all weeks.
When I next logged into Facebook, I had dozens of notifications from men speaking of abuses they experienced as children — each timorously giving voice to trauma that, in some instances, happened more than half a century before.”
Some of the stories she shares will sound very familiar to those of us who are male abuse victims. Especially the ones who’ve managed to not end up addicted, overdosed, homeless, or have some other obvious issues that prevent us from doing the things men do, like marry, have a career, or even have friends. Those stories largely go untold because we live in fear of being told that “it couldn’t have been that bad”, sometimes by the very same advocates who wouldn’t dare tell a woman that about their trauma.
I have managed to be somewhat successful by society’s standard. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. To assume that must mean I wasn’t that hurt by it, is to tell me that you know nothing of my life, or the lives of thousands of other men like me. Is it any wonder so many don’t come forward and talk about it?
But, as the article below points out, there are too many men in pain, with nowhere to go, for us to not talk about it. They deserve better.