I think this message is something many abuse survivors need to not only read but take into themselves at a deeper level.
“Self-compassion is the term used for being compassionate to ourselves. When we practice self-compassion, we extend the same tolerance and kindness to ourselves as we do to others. For example, we withhold judgment and criticism of ourselves when we make a mistake or notice something about ourselves we don’t like. We treat ourselves with the same gentle support we would give to a friend or a young child. Self-compassionate people are also more likely to attend to self-care needs without guilt.”
Child abuse can be all about shame and guilt. Because the entire world wants to believe that things are fair when we grow up, trying to square that belief with what happened to us as children naturally leads us to believe it’s our fault.
You can’t have self-compassion and also believe the abuse you suffered was your fault. We have to get past this idea that the world is fair and we get what we deserve. It’s simply not true. We have to be willing to have the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for another crime victim.
Everyone deserves to have some compassion for others and learn how to have compassion for themselves.
In my opinion, that would help many of the problems we have now.