{"id":11033,"date":"2021-10-05T10:56:01","date_gmt":"2021-10-05T17:56:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=11033"},"modified":"2021-10-05T10:49:22","modified_gmt":"2021-10-05T17:49:22","slug":"sharing-how-to-identify-grooming-predatory-behavior-stop-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2021\/10\/05\/sharing-how-to-identify-grooming-predatory-behavior-stop-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Sharing &#8211; How To Identify Grooming Predatory Behavior &#038; Stop It"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:593,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.refinery29.com\\\/en-us\\\/2021\\\/08\\\/10636786\\\/grooming-child-sexual-abuse-detection&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20250811084714\\\/https:\\\/\\\/www.refinery29.com\\\/en-us\\\/2021\\\/08\\\/10636786\\\/grooming-child-sexual-abuse-detection&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-01 10:56:58&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-01-01 21:14:04&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-01-06 00:17:45&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-02-11 09:30:22&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-02-11 09:30:22&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>There is a lot to consider in this article, especially around which vulnerabilities an abuser can take advantage of in order to groom a child, but this cannot be repeated often enough:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Grooming can happen in person, but has become more prevalent online, especially in the age of COVID. That said, one of the most common misconceptions regarding grooming is that it&#8217;s perpetrated by the &#8220;creepy old man in the basement,&#8221; Hoppmeyer notes. While a minor can be groomed by a stranger, most child victims know their abuser, who often is a family member, a teacher, a coach \u2014 &#8220;people held in high regard who we knowingly have associated with minors,&#8221; says No Grey Zone co-host and fellow special victims prosecutor Kathryn Marsh.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>We simply haven&#8217;t stopped thinking that we would be able to spot an abuser, despite years and years of evidence to the contrary. As if they would appear as obvious predators like a tiger.<\/p>\n<p>Let me give you an example, as a middle-aged white man, I am fully aware that my talking to a child I don&#8217;t know would raise a parent&#8217;s suspicions in a way that my wife doing the same thing doesn&#8217;t. Because, again, we think we know who is an abuser. (Hint, while it&#8217;s not super common, women do abuse children too)<\/p>\n<p>But, add a cloak of familiarity and that suspicion is much less likely to be raised. Instead of an unknown child, I don&#8217;t know, what about a child I coach, or that I teach? What if I&#8217;m the father of one of your kid&#8217;s friends? Or I&#8217;m dating your sister, etc. Suddenly you&#8217;re not talking about a stranger, but someone you know, who probably seems like a nice guy, who&#8217;s been around you and your kids for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s our blind spot. We&#8217;re so busy looking for creepy, anti-social, stereotypes that we miss the charming abusers right in our midst, and we miss all the signs and hints that our kids might be dropping because we just didn&#8217;t stop to consider that adult to be dangerous. We just assumed they were safe, and our kids would somehow know better anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, that strategy isn&#8217;t working.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.refinery29.com\/en-us\/2021\/08\/10636786\/grooming-child-sexual-abuse-detection\">https:\/\/www.refinery29.com\/en-us\/2021\/08\/10636786\/grooming-child-sexual-abuse-detection<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><span class=\"syn-text\">Also on:<\/span><ul class=\"relsyn\"><li><a aria-label=\"facebook\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/219569363651\/posts\/517068420243127\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-facebook\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"Facebook\" title=\"Facebook\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>Facebook<\/title><path d=\"M9.101 23.691v-7.98H6.627v-3.667h2.474v-1.58c0-4.085 1.848-5.978 5.858-5.978.401 0 .955.042 1.468.103a8.68 8.68 0 0 1 1.141.195v3.325a8.623 8.623 0 0 0-.653-.036 26.805 26.805 0 0 0-.733-.009c-.707 0-1.259.096-1.675.309a1.686 1.686 0 0 0-.679.622c-.258.42-.374.995-.374 1.752v1.297h3.919l-.386 2.103-.287 1.564h-3.246v8.245C19.396 23.238 24 18.179 24 12.044c0-6.627-5.373-12-12-12s-12 5.373-12 12c0 5.628 3.874 10.35 9.101 11.647Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a aria-label=\"x\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/CA_Survivor\/status\/1577752023084285976\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-x\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"X\" title=\"X\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>X<\/title><path d=\"M18.901 1.153h3.68l-8.04 9.19L24 22.846h-7.406l-5.8-7.584-6.638 7.584H.474l8.6-9.83L0 1.154h7.594l5.243 6.932ZM17.61 20.644h2.039L6.486 3.24H4.298Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>That&#8217;s our blind spot. We&#8217;re so busy looking for creepy, anti-social, stereotypes that we miss the charming abusers right in our midst, and we miss all the signs and hints that our kids might be dropping because we just didn&#8217;t stop to consider that adult to be dangerous. We just assumed they were safe, and our kids would somehow know better anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, that strategy isn&#8217;t working.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5104,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[6,35],"tags":[37,107,53,30],"class_list":["post-11033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","category-links","tag-abuse","tag-family","tag-grooming","tag-predators"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Sharing - How To Identify Grooming Predatory Behavior &amp; Stop It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2021\/10\/05\/sharing-how-to-identify-grooming-predatory-behavior-stop-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sharing - How To Identify Grooming Predatory Behavior &amp; Stop It\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"That&#039;s our blind spot. We&#039;re so busy looking for creepy, anti-social, stereotypes that we miss the charming abusers right in our midst, and we miss all the signs and hints that our kids might be dropping because we just didn&#039;t stop to consider that adult to be dangerous. We just assumed they were safe, and our kids would somehow know better anyway.  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