{"id":15709,"date":"2024-06-13T08:44:59","date_gmt":"2024-06-13T13:44:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=15709"},"modified":"2024-06-12T22:29:43","modified_gmt":"2024-06-13T03:29:43","slug":"before-you-can-commit-to-self-care-there-is-a-prerequisite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2024\/06\/13\/before-you-can-commit-to-self-care-there-is-a-prerequisite\/","title":{"rendered":"Before you can commit to self-care there is a prerequisite"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:162,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/blueknot.org.au\\\/survivors\\\/survivor-self-care&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20250915175459\\\/https:\\\/\\\/blueknot.org.au\\\/survivors\\\/survivor-self-care\\\/&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-01 04:09:09&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-16 07:44:27&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-16 07:44:27&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>There&#8217;s a lot of talk on social media and everywhere else about self-care. It&#8217;s an important part of maintaining your mental and physical health, taking time to do the things that are good for you, whatever they might be.<\/p>\n<p>I was recently reminded of a time when I could not conduct self-care and the seemingly simple reason why following that advice was impossible for me.<\/p>\n<p>Taking care of yourself requires you to believe you are worth taking care of.<\/p>\n<p>See the article &#8211;<a href=\"https:\/\/blueknot.org.au\/survivors\/survivor-self-care\/\">&#8220;Self-care&#8221; means looking after yourself. It means treating yourself as person who deserves care.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Even just the headline made me think of those days when I was in my 20s, dealing with the trauma and shame of my childhood and the major depression that I was not getting proper treatment for. I didn&#8217;t take care of myself. I didn&#8217;t even meet the basic needs of sleep, food, etc., because, in my mind, I wasn&#8217;t worth it. I didn&#8217;t deserve to live a healthy, content life. It wasn&#8217;t that I didn&#8217;t understand what self-care was or why it was necessary; I lacked a belief that I deserved it.<\/p>\n<p>This is what shame looks like in many survivors. It&#8217;s a lie. We have nothing to be ashamed of; we were child victims of a crime. But we often don&#8217;t believe that. We believe that we somehow deserve what happened to us. After all, don&#8217;t good things come to good people and bad things to bad people? We must have done some pretty horrible things to have deserved to be abused as children.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s all a lie. We didn&#8217;t do anything. Our abusers made all the decisions and took all the actions. Bad things happen regardless of how good we are because people do bad things. We are 100% deserving of self-care.<\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><span class=\"syn-text\">Also on:<\/span><ul class=\"relsyn\"><li><a aria-label=\"flipboard\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/flipboard.com\/@mikemac29\/child-abuse-survivors-8o2743fsz\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-flipboard\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"Flipboard\" title=\"Flipboard\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>Flipboard<\/title><path d=\"M0 0v24h24V0H0zm19.2 9.6h-4.8v4.8H9.6v4.8H4.8V4.8h14.4v4.8z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a aria-label=\"tumblr\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/blog\/view\/t:c4gTZash4jhfc6YyjwLx0A\/753177879734566912\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-tumblr\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"Tumblr\" title=\"Tumblr\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>Tumblr<\/title><path d=\"M14.563 24c-5.093 0-7.031-3.756-7.031-6.411V9.747H5.116V6.648c3.63-1.313 4.512-4.596 4.71-6.469C9.84.051 9.941 0 9.999 0h3.517v6.114h4.801v3.633h-4.82v7.47c.016 1.001.375 2.371 2.207 2.371h.09c.631-.02 1.486-.205 1.936-.419l1.156 3.425c-.436.636-2.4 1.374-4.156 1.404h-.178l.011.002z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a aria-label=\"x\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/CA_Survivor\/status\/1844426382874640557\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-x\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"X\" title=\"X\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>X<\/title><path d=\"M18.901 1.153h3.68l-8.04 9.19L24 22.846h-7.406l-5.8-7.584-6.638 7.584H.474l8.6-9.83L0 1.154h7.594l5.243 6.932ZM17.61 20.644h2.039L6.486 3.24H4.298Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even just the headline made me think of those days when I was in my 20s, dealing with the trauma and shame of my childhood and the major depression that I was not getting proper treatment for. I didn&#8217;t take care of myself. I didn&#8217;t even meet the basic needs of sleep, food, etc., because, in my mind, I wasn&#8217;t worth it. I didn&#8217;t deserve to live a healthy, content life. It wasn&#8217;t that I didn&#8217;t understand what self-care was or why it was necessary; I lacked a belief that I deserved it.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[16,98,63,38,58],"class_list":["post-15709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-depression","tag-shame","tag-social-media","tag-survivors","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Before you can commit to self-care there is a prerequisite<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2024\/06\/13\/before-you-can-commit-to-self-care-there-is-a-prerequisite\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Before you can commit to self-care there is a prerequisite\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Even just the headline made me think of those days when I was in my 20s, dealing with the trauma and shame of my childhood and the major depression that I was not getting proper treatment for. I didn&#039;t take care of myself. I didn&#039;t even meet the basic needs of sleep, food, etc., because, in my mind, I wasn&#039;t worth it. I didn&#039;t deserve to live a healthy, content life. 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