{"id":19659,"date":"2025-10-08T20:11:24","date_gmt":"2025-10-09T01:11:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=19659"},"modified":"2025-10-13T21:06:05","modified_gmt":"2025-10-14T02:06:05","slug":"sharing-when-being-alone-feels-safer-than-being-seen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2025\/10\/08\/sharing-when-being-alone-feels-safer-than-being-seen\/","title":{"rendered":"Sharing &#8211; When Being Alone Feels Safer Than Being Seen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve shared a few resources of late about how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2025\/09\/16\/how-to-make-sure-someone-is-seen\/\">help people feel seen<\/a> and the importance of it.<\/p>\n<p>In the post below, Salwa explains why so many of us are closed off from wanting to be seen. I think this says it all:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I think most people mean well. They just don\u2019t know how to hold space without trying to fix or analyse you. And after a while, it gets exhausting.<\/p>\n<p>So you stop sharing. You start editing. You become a slightly watered-down version of yourself, just enough to be palatable. Approachable. Not too intense. Not too\u00a0<em>much<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Being alone doesn\u2019t require all that effort.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/quietlybecoming.substack.com\/p\/when-being-alone-feels-safer-than\">https:\/\/quietlybecoming.substack.com\/p\/when-being-alone-feels-safer-than<\/a><\/p>\n<p>She goes on to opine that very few people in the world can actually provide safety. It may seem like a damning statement, but I believe there&#8217;s a lot of truth to it as well. How many of us can sit with others&#8217; stories? Honestly sit with it. Let them share it without having an uncomfortable response. Based on my experience, she is correct. There aren&#8217;t many people who can do that. I am glad I&#8217;ve had some in my life. I also know that makes me lucky. I strive to be that kind of person to others, even as I acknowledge that there are times when I fall short of my goals. I probably fall short more often than not.<\/p>\n<p>Likely, you have too. That doesn&#8217;t mean we can&#8217;t learn to be better. Everyone deserves safety and the ability to share their story without facing further harm. Sadly, that isn&#8217;t common. We don&#8217;t teach people how to handle grief, loss, trauma, etc., because we aren&#8217;t comfortable hearing about it. Perhaps, if more people learned, we could reach a point where we are more comfortable with it, and being alone wouldn&#8217;t have to be the only safe option. Until then, I can&#8217;t blame anyone for deciding to be more alone. Safety is not easily found.<span hidden class=\"__iawmlf-post-loop-links\" data-iawmlf-links=\"[{&quot;id&quot;:16,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/quietlybecoming.substack.com\\\/p\\\/when-being-alone-feels-safer-than&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20251201020321\\\/https:\\\/\\\/quietlybecoming.substack.com\\\/p\\\/when-being-alone-feels-safer-than&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-01-07 23:23:42&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-12 02:28:45&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-25 11:55:03&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-05-07 23:41:53&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-05-07 23:41:53&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]\"><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She goes on to opine that very few people in the world can actually provide safety. It may seem like a damning statement, but I believe there&#8217;s a lot of truth to it as well. How many of us can sit with others&#8217; stories? Honestly sit with it. Let them share it without having an uncomfortable response. Based on my experience, she is correct. There aren&#8217;t many people who can do that. I am glad I&#8217;ve had some in my life. I also know that makes me lucky. I strive to be that kind of person to others, even as I acknowledge that there are times when I fall short. I probably fall short more often than not.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":19675,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[71,96,58],"class_list":["post-19659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-links","tag-grief","tag-resources","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Sharing - When Being Alone Feels Safer Than Being Seen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2025\/10\/08\/sharing-when-being-alone-feels-safer-than-being-seen\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sharing - When Being Alone Feels Safer Than Being Seen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She goes on to opine that very few people in the world can actually provide safety. It may seem like a damning statement, but I believe there&#039;s a lot of truth to it as well. How many of us can sit with others&#039; stories? Honestly sit with it. Let them share it without having an uncomfortable response. Based on my experience, she is correct. There aren&#039;t many people who can do that. I am glad I&#039;ve had some in my life. I also know that makes me lucky. I strive to be that kind of person to others, even as I acknowledge that there are times when I fall short. 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