{"id":4337,"date":"2016-05-18T07:45:06","date_gmt":"2016-05-18T14:45:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=4337"},"modified":"2019-05-15T14:21:45","modified_gmt":"2019-05-15T21:21:45","slug":"link-depression-feel-like-trust-really-dont-want-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2016\/05\/18\/link-depression-feel-like-trust-really-dont-want-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Link &#8211; What does depression feel like? Trust me \u2013 you really don\u2019t want to know"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:2446,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.theguardian.com\\\/commentisfree\\\/2016\\\/apr\\\/19\\\/depression-awareness-mental-illness-feel-like&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.theguardian.com\\\/commentisfree\\\/2016\\\/apr\\\/19\\\/depression-awareness-mental-illness-feel-like&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;So how is this misleadingly named curse different from recognisable grief? For a start, it can produce symptoms similar to Alzheimer\u2019s \u2013 forgetfulness, confusion and disorientation. Making even the smallest decisions can be agonising. It can affect not just the mind but also the body \u2013 I start to stumble when I walk, or become unable to walk in a straight line. I am more clumsy and accident-prone. In depression you become, in your head, two-dimensional \u2013 like a drawing rather than a living, breathing creature. You cannot conjure your actual personality, which you can remember only vaguely, in a theoretical sense. You live in, or close to, a state of perpetual fear, although you are not sure what it is you are afraid of. The writer William Styron called it a \u201cbrainstorm\u201d, which is much more accurate than \u201cunhappiness\u201d.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It&#8217;s been awhile since I found myself really in a deep depressive episode, but I do remember well enough. And the one thing I remember more than anything was just how overwhelming EVERYTHING was. Simple acts, like dropping a dish while trying to get something to eat would leave me sitting on the ground in tears because I believed that I could never be normal, or take care of myself.<\/p>\n<p>Something like holding down a job, paying my bills, or being in a relationship seemed absolutely beyond my comprehension. I did not see myself as being capable of any of that, and it was beyond just a feeling of being incapable, I was physically overwhelmed by the idea, unable to carry myself in the same way that I had.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t recall being more clumsy, or stumbling, but I do recall every physical act being absolutely exhausting.<\/p>\n<p>So yeah, having depression like this leaves you in a bad way. I would agree with that.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/commentisfree\/2016\/apr\/19\/depression-awareness-mental-illness-feel-like\">http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/commentisfree\/2016\/apr\/19\/depression-awareness-mental-illness-feel-like<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;So how is this misleadingly named curse different from recognisable grief? For a start, it can produce symptoms similar to Alzheimer\u2019s \u2013 forgetfulness, confusion and disorientation. Making even the smallest decisions can be agonising. It can affect not just the mind but also the body \u2013 I start to stumble when I walk, or become&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-4337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-links","tag-depression"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Link - What does depression feel like? 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It can affect not just the mind but also the body \u2013 I start to stumble when I walk, or become...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2016\/05\/18\/link-depression-feel-like-trust-really-dont-want-know\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Survivors News and Reviews\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-18T14:45:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-05-15T21:21:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/15189291772_1d4be96633_k.jpg?fit=2048%2C1371&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2048\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1371\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/05\\\/18\\\/link-depression-feel-like-trust-really-dont-want-know\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/05\\\/18\\\/link-depression-feel-like-trust-really-dont-want-know\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"MikeM\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dbc4a41a301b6455b3717df14ea3533e\"},\"headline\":\"Link &#8211; What does depression feel like? 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