{"id":4506,"date":"2016-07-28T08:29:14","date_gmt":"2016-07-28T15:29:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=4506"},"modified":"2020-12-20T10:43:41","modified_gmt":"2020-12-20T18:43:41","slug":"link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2016\/07\/28\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\/","title":{"rendered":"Link – Childhood Trauma: Overcoming the Hurt of Invalidation"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Invalidation is triggering. It makes a white hot anger rise up inside. We want to defend ourselves the way we couldn\u2019t when we were young. At the same time, we lean towards self-doubt because we\u2019d all rather believe the abuse didn\u2019t happen at all. Invalidation makes healing slow down and we feel like we don\u2019t have a right to share our story anymore.<\/p>\n

In the end, we can\u2019t control other people (or the things they say). We can only control our behavior.<\/p>\n

\u201cCare about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.\u201d \u2014 Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This is very true, and is something I try to mention often when we talk about whether a survivor should tell their story. I’m all for any survivor who wants to tell their story, but that survivor should also be prepared to deal with people who don’t respond very well. OR not deal with them, as the case may be. In the end, our healing doesn’t require those people, it only requires ourselves. So even if the response is invalidation, you continue down that path, and validate yourself.<\/p>\n

http:\/\/psychcentral.com\/blog\/archives\/2016\/07\/26\/childhood-trauma-overcoming-the-hurt-of-invalidation\/<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/div><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Invalidation is triggering. It makes a white hot anger rise up inside. We want to defend ourselves the way we couldn\u2019t when we were young. At the same time, we lean towards self-doubt because we\u2019d all rather believe the abuse didn\u2019t happen at all. Invalidation makes healing slow down and we feel like we don\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[37,47,58],"class_list":["post-4506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-links","tag-abuse","tag-healing","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"\nLink - Childhood Trauma: Overcoming the Hurt of Invalidation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2016\/07\/28\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Link - Childhood Trauma: Overcoming the Hurt of Invalidation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"“Invalidation is triggering. It makes a white hot anger rise up inside. We want to defend ourselves the way we couldn\u2019t when we were young. At the same time, we lean towards self-doubt because we\u2019d all rather believe the abuse didn\u2019t happen at all. Invalidation makes healing slow down and we feel like we don\u2019t...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2016\/07\/28\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Survivors News and Reviews\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-28T15:29:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-12-20T18:43:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/15189291772_1d4be96633_k.jpg?fit=2048%2C1371&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2048\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1371\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/07\\\/28\\\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/07\\\/28\\\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"MikeM\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dbc4a41a301b6455b3717df14ea3533e\"},\"headline\":\"Link – Childhood Trauma: Overcoming the Hurt of Invalidation\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-28T15:29:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-12-20T18:43:41+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/07\\\/28\\\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":211,\"commentCount\":9,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dbc4a41a301b6455b3717df14ea3533e\"},\"keywords\":[\"Abuse\",\"Healing\",\"Trauma\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Links\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/07\\\/28\\\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/07\\\/28\\\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2016\\\/07\\\/28\\\/link-childhood-trauma-overcoming-hurt-invalidation\\\/\",\"name\":\"Link - 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