{"id":5573,"date":"2017-07-10T06:58:00","date_gmt":"2017-07-10T13:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=5573"},"modified":"2017-07-08T18:28:01","modified_gmt":"2017-07-09T01:28:01","slug":"link-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2017\/07\/10\/link-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags\/","title":{"rendered":"Link &#8211; How \u201csocially skilled\u201d child molesters get us to ignore red flags"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been saying this, and we all know better, but it continues to happen&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;\u201cThe sex offenders who are the successful offenders, who are 95% of the cases or more, are people that we know and trust and invite into our homes,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd [we] give access to our children to them.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>These \u201cgroomers,\u201d as she describes them, are people who have \u201cdeliberately ingratiated themselves with the adult community\u201d and are accepted as \u201cupstanding citizens.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>They funnel all their energy into accessing children, building their lives around seemingly innocent activities. They\u2019re dedicated coaches, teachers, parents, or volunteers. Adults in the community teach their own kids that these are \u201cadored friends,\u201d van Dam writes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>So it\u2019s all the more confusing for kids when abuse occurs. Often, van Dam says, young children will \u201cunder report\u201d abuse (if they report it at all) in a way that \u201cthey think is clear, but of course, it isn\u2019t.\u201d She gives the example of one boy who told his parents, \u201cI don\u2019t like [my babysitter,] he makes me stay in the bathroom all the time.\u201d Or a little girl who angrily complained of the same abuser: \u201cI\u2019m big enough to wash myself. I don\u2019t need him to scrub me in the bathtub.\u201d&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Go read the whole thing, and share this with others. We aren&#8217;t learning this lesson, so we need to continue to put it out there. Far too often we miss the signs not because they aren&#8217;t there, but because we can&#8217;t comprehend a pedophile being someone we like.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/michiganradio.org\/post\/how-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags\">http:\/\/michiganradio.org\/post\/how-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags<\/a><span hidden class=\"__iawmlf-post-loop-links\" data-iawmlf-links=\"[{&quot;id&quot;:2159,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/michiganradio.org\\\/post\\\/how-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20210904040455\\\/https:\\\/\\\/www.michiganradio.org\\\/post\\\/how-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-02 06:12:12&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-01-15 23:36:04&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-01-15 23:36:04&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]\"><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been saying this, and we all know better, but it continues to happen&#8230; &#8220;\u201cThe sex offenders who are the successful offenders, who are 95% of the cases or more, are people that we know and trust and invite into our homes,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd [we] give access to our children to them.\u201d These \u201cgroomers,\u201d&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5234,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[37],"class_list":["post-5573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-links","tag-abuse"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Link - How \u201csocially skilled\u201d child molesters get us to ignore red flags<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2017\/07\/10\/link-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Link - How \u201csocially skilled\u201d child molesters get us to ignore red flags\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I&#8217;ve been saying this, and we all know better, but it continues to happen&#8230; &#8220;\u201cThe sex offenders who are the successful offenders, who are 95% of the cases or more, are people that we know and trust and invite into our homes,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd [we] give access to our children to them.\u201d These \u201cgroomers,\u201d...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2017\/07\/10\/link-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Survivors News and Reviews\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-07-10T13:58:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/2840672055_f871357b5d_speak-out.jpg?fit=500%2C375&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"375\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2017\\\/07\\\/10\\\/link-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2017\\\/07\\\/10\\\/link-socially-skilled-child-molesters-get-us-ignore-red-flags\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"MikeM\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dbc4a41a301b6455b3717df14ea3533e\"},\"headline\":\"Link &#8211; 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