{"id":9232,"date":"2020-10-20T07:07:54","date_gmt":"2020-10-20T14:07:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=9232"},"modified":"2020-10-20T10:25:38","modified_gmt":"2020-10-20T17:25:38","slug":"sharing-if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2020\/10\/20\/sharing-if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Sharing &#8211; If You Want to Find Healing, Sometimes You Have to Stop Looking For It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I really like the way Melissa ends the post below:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We are so often focused on the destination that we fail to see how much we are actually accomplishing. We don\u2019t give ourselves credit for the wins, no matter how small they may seem and we certainly don\u2019t give ourselves grace on the days we feel like we\u2019re losing.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>She is writing about depression, but I see this among abuse survivors so often that I want to scream. It&#8217;s the constant refrain of &#8220;being damaged&#8221;, or &#8220;still broken&#8221;, etc. that we hear from survivors. The never-ending wait to be healed, to be &#8220;over it&#8221; already. That&#8217;s a very frustrating way to live, and in the end, what is healed anyway? What does it mean to be &#8220;over&#8221; something that is an integral part of your past?<\/p>\n<p>What if, instead of waiting for that day, if it ever happens, we actually appreciated where we are now and what we have already done, and allowed ourselves to also have some bad days too?<\/p>\n<p>Wouldn&#8217;t that make for a more pleasant experience?<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/twloha.com\/blog\/if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it\/\">https:\/\/twloha.com\/blog\/if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it\/<\/a><span hidden class=\"__iawmlf-post-loop-links\" data-iawmlf-links=\"[{&quot;id&quot;:799,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/twloha.com\\\/blog\\\/if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20250523201850\\\/https:\\\/\\\/twloha.com\\\/blog\\\/if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it\\\/&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-01 14:39:59&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-01-23 13:01:52&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-12 02:27:59&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-01 17:36:53&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-01 17:36:53&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]\"><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><span class=\"syn-text\">Also on:<\/span><ul class=\"relsyn\"><li><a aria-label=\"facebook\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/219569363651\/posts\/298978935385411\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-facebook\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"Facebook\" title=\"Facebook\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>Facebook<\/title><path d=\"M9.101 23.691v-7.98H6.627v-3.667h2.474v-1.58c0-4.085 1.848-5.978 5.858-5.978.401 0 .955.042 1.468.103a8.68 8.68 0 0 1 1.141.195v3.325a8.623 8.623 0 0 0-.653-.036 26.805 26.805 0 0 0-.733-.009c-.707 0-1.259.096-1.675.309a1.686 1.686 0 0 0-.679.622c-.258.42-.374.995-.374 1.752v1.297h3.919l-.386 2.103-.287 1.564h-3.246v8.245C19.396 23.238 24 18.179 24 12.044c0-6.627-5.373-12-12-12s-12 5.373-12 12c0 5.628 3.874 10.35 9.101 11.647Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a aria-label=\"x\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/CA_Survivor\/status\/1450914812234551302\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-x\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"X\" title=\"X\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>X<\/title><path d=\"M18.901 1.153h3.68l-8.04 9.19L24 22.846h-7.406l-5.8-7.584-6.638 7.584H.474l8.6-9.83L0 1.154h7.594l5.243 6.932ZM17.61 20.644h2.039L6.486 3.24H4.298Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I really like the way Melissa ends the post below: &nbsp; &#8220;We are so often focused on the destination that we fail to see how much we are actually accomplishing. We don\u2019t give ourselves credit for the wins, no matter how small they may seem and we certainly don\u2019t give ourselves grace on the days&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8763,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[37,16,47,38],"class_list":["post-9232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-links","tag-abuse","tag-depression","tag-healing","tag-survivors"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Sharing - If You Want to Find Healing, Sometimes You Have to Stop Looking For It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2020\/10\/20\/sharing-if-you-want-to-find-healing-sometimes-you-have-to-stop-looking-for-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sharing - If You Want to Find Healing, Sometimes You Have to Stop Looking For It\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I really like the way Melissa ends the post below: &nbsp; &#8220;We are so often focused on the destination that we fail to see how much we are actually accomplishing. 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&#8220;We are so often focused on the destination that we fail to see how much we are actually accomplishing. 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