{"id":9373,"date":"2020-12-05T07:40:56","date_gmt":"2020-12-05T15:40:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/?p=9373"},"modified":"2020-12-04T14:52:30","modified_gmt":"2020-12-04T22:52:30","slug":"sharing-if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2020\/12\/05\/sharing-if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Sharing &#8211; If Healing After Abuse Was Easy, Everyone Would Do It"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:777,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/medium.com\\\/invisible-illness\\\/if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it-a6d75370dd2a&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20201127234837\\\/https:\\\/\\\/medium.com\\\/invisible-illness\\\/if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it-a6d75370dd2a&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2025-12-01 14:01:24&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:403},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-26 21:47:02&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:403}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-26 21:47:02&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:403},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>Suzanna&#8217;s article below is about domestic abuse as an adult, but I think a lot of it also applies to survivors of childhood abuse as well. Not all of it, but nuggets like this seem very familiar to me:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Looking at the past brings shame, judgment. No one wants to be a victim. It\u2019s embarrassing. It\u2019s humiliating. Yet how are we to survive something if we are not first a victim to it? The actual shame and blame belong to our abuser, yet to get to that realization it always seems to pass through us first.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>We see that shame play out in numerous ways, sometimes in severe lack of self-value and self-respect, sometimes in angry outbursts, sometimes in depression, and other times in hypervigilance.<\/p>\n<p>I believe each of those reactions is tied to shame, and a misunderstanding of what happened. That, instead of seeing that we were abused because someone else decided to abuse us, we view the crime as something we either deserved or brought about through own own actions. Bad things like this happen for a reason after all, isn&#8217;t that what everyone says?<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re wrong.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/medium.com\/invisible-illness\/if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it-a6d75370dd2a\">https:\/\/medium.com\/invisible-illness\/if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it-a6d75370dd2a<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"syndication-links\"><span class=\"syn-text\">Also on:<\/span><ul class=\"relsyn\"><li><a aria-label=\"facebook\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/219569363651\/posts\/327602499189721\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-facebook\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"Facebook\" title=\"Facebook\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>Facebook<\/title><path d=\"M9.101 23.691v-7.98H6.627v-3.667h2.474v-1.58c0-4.085 1.848-5.978 5.858-5.978.401 0 .955.042 1.468.103a8.68 8.68 0 0 1 1.141.195v3.325a8.623 8.623 0 0 0-.653-.036 26.805 26.805 0 0 0-.733-.009c-.707 0-1.259.096-1.675.309a1.686 1.686 0 0 0-.679.622c-.258.42-.374.995-.374 1.752v1.297h3.919l-.386 2.103-.287 1.564h-3.246v8.245C19.396 23.238 24 18.179 24 12.044c0-6.627-5.373-12-12-12s-12 5.373-12 12c0 5.628 3.874 10.35 9.101 11.647Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a aria-label=\"x\" class=\"u-syndication syn-link\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/CA_Survivor\/status\/1467599813369901067\"> <span class=\"syndication-link-icon svg-x\" style=\"display: inline-block; max-width: 1rem; margin: 2px;\" aria-hidden=\"true\" aria-label=\"X\" title=\"X\" ><svg role=\"img\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><title>X<\/title><path d=\"M18.901 1.153h3.68l-8.04 9.19L24 22.846h-7.406l-5.8-7.584-6.638 7.584H.474l8.6-9.83L0 1.154h7.594l5.243 6.932ZM17.61 20.644h2.039L6.486 3.24H4.298Z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><span class=\"kt-load-after-post\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Suzanna&#8217;s article below is about domestic abuse as an adult, but I think a lot of it also applies to survivors of childhood abuse as well. Not all of it, but nuggets like this seem very familiar to me: &#8220;Looking at the past brings shame, judgment. No one wants to be a victim. It\u2019s embarrassing&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8782,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"mf2_syndication":[],"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[37,16,47,38],"class_list":["post-9373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-links","tag-abuse","tag-depression","tag-healing","tag-survivors"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Sharing - If Healing After Abuse Was Easy, Everyone Would Do It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2020\/12\/05\/sharing-if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sharing - If Healing After Abuse Was Easy, Everyone Would Do It\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Suzanna&#8217;s article below is about domestic abuse as an adult, but I think a lot of it also applies to survivors of childhood abuse as well. Not all of it, but nuggets like this seem very familiar to me: &#8220;Looking at the past brings shame, judgment. No one wants to be a victim. It\u2019s embarrassing....\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/2020\/12\/05\/sharing-if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Survivors News and Reviews\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mikemac29\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-12-05T15:40:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\/reviews\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/pikwizard-a11f18d4b08c16230955cc2a1c827a5d-scaled-e1594041714561.jpg?fit=500%2C288&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"288\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@CA_Survivor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"MikeM\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2020\\\/12\\\/05\\\/sharing-if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/2020\\\/12\\\/05\\\/sharing-if-healing-after-abuse-was-easy-everyone-would-do-it\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"MikeM\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.childabusesurvivor.net\\\/reviews\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dbc4a41a301b6455b3717df14ea3533e\"},\"headline\":\"Sharing &#8211; 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