This has been a common refrain with the economy lately, and frankly, it’s pretty good career advice any time! Regardless of what else may be going on, and what other pressures you may face, make career decisions based on what you need to do and what will benefit you and your family, not anyone else. I’m beginning to see that it applies to survivors as well, though. A couple of recent discussions over at the Survivor Network, and offline with friends have convinced me of this.
When I saw that the theme for this months Blog Carnival was “telling the secret“, I knew exactly where this fit in. Telling your story, whether in a public forum like this one, or privately to a close friend, should always be about doing what you need to do, for yourself. As I consider the decision, way back when, to start this blog, or even the decisions I make about who I share my story with, I always come back to the same reasons. Obviously, much of my motivation for starting here was to help other survivors not to feel as alone as I did, but there was also another issue. If it wasn’t going to be safe, and healthy, for me I would not be here. As much as I wanted to help others, it had to also be the right decision for me, and it has to continue to be the right decision for me.
So far, I still think this continues to be the right thing, for me. I don’t really see where that would change, but it is certainly possible. Things change, and I am sure there are some possibilities out there that I haven’t even comprehended yet. I know many folks have quit blogging, and stopped being so public with their stories because of who has read them and the reactions they’ve had to it. I know others who simply couldn’t cope with learning about other survivors and their stories, becoming engulfed in the survivor community and unable to get outside of it. It happens, and they have made their choices based on what was right for them. As much as I enjoy this blog, and love running the Survivor Network, I know that it’s not for everyone. I know there are hard decisions that have to be made, and there are risks. I’ve accepted those risks, and decided to not allow how other people may perceive this site to dictate whether I do it or not. Not everyone can, or should, do the same.
The important thing, though, no matter how you decide to tell your secret, is that you do so in the way you need to. If that’s to one friend, or only a spouse, so be it. If it’s to a group, or to the world through a blog, great! No one else should decide for you, or influence your decision to tell your story. It is your story, and it is your life. It belongs to you alone, and should be told however you want. We are not children anymore, we’re adults and we make our own choices, choose what is best for you, and do what you gotta do, for yourself.