One of the things I, and other survivors, struggle with is change. Change creates stress, and makes us uncomfortable, and if there’s anything survivors crave, it’s the comfort of what we know. New things tend to throw us, creating uncertainty and we have learn since early ages to try and keep things as certain as we possibly can. That’s how we survived our childhoods, and that is how we function through our adult issues.
So, as I approached moving to a new place and starting a new job at the beginning of April, I was definitely challenging myself and my learned defense mechanisms. As we start the month of May though, I’ve come a long way, and have definitely grown in confidence about myself. I’m down here in South Carolina by myself, my wife hasn’t made the move down yet, my friends and family are back in Ohio, and while my in-laws are only a couple of hours away, I am in essence relying only on my own ability to take care of myself. Like many survivors, my track record in regards to taking care of myself is a mixed bag. 😉
Given that, it feels good to know that I’m down here doing it. I know that I can do it and feel more confidence in myself and my abilities than I would had I not gone this route. Sometimes, in order to improve, you have to get outside the comfort zone. Knowing I can makes it easier to know that I can get through anything. After all, we survived our childhood, what can a little change do compared to that?