Most survivors, and I would imagine most folks who deal with any sort of mental illness, especially depression, tend to have issues with their views of themselves. We imagine that every person we come in contact with is examining us, observing every mistake we make or flaw in our character, and passing judgment based on those.
In reality, though, most people are so worried about how they appear that they don’t even notice our flaws.
Think about this advice I came across today in an article about dealing with short-notice guests in your home:
Everybody assumes that other people are far more observant than they really are. That’s why Jennifer Hunter at Apartment Therapy suggests you don’t draw attention to things unless you have to: NEVER apologize for the state of your home. You’ll only point out what they probably would never have noticed anyway.
Read that again. “Everybody assumes that other people are far more observant than they really are.”
Now, think about how much time we spend worrying about how we appear to other people who are not as observant as we think they are. The truth is that we all have flaws, make mistakes, and are all self-centered to one degree or another. Stop worrying about or apologizing for your self-defined shortcomings because chances are you’re only bringing attention to something that no one noticed and didn’t care about anyway. Be yourself, and be confident that the person on the other end of your conversation is just as flawed as you are, even if you don’t notice their flaws.
You do not need to apologize for being who you are and where you are in your healing. The only people who are that observant and judgmental about you are people you probably don’t want in your life anyway.