There are a lot of things people say after someone we love passes away. Many of them are not helpful. Some of them are. Some of the suggestions in the article below can be helpful, but in my own opinion, this is the one you should remember.
““Silence. My wish in fact is that more people would learn how to sit quietly and not feel the need to just say anything.” — Heidi F. “
Heidi is 100% right about this. Recently, my wife and I were talking about 2019, when both of her parents and one of mine passed away during a 5 months stretch. There were so many people who felt the need to say something who would’ve done well to simply sit with us instead.
There were also people who simply weren’t there. People we thought we could depend on, and they just didn’t show up. I have always suspected that many of them simply didn’t know what to say, so they stayed away. What they didn’t realize is that I never needed them to say the right thing, I just needed to know they were there. When they weren’t, it just added more grief.
Your words are not what’s important. Your words can’t heal someone grieving. But your presence is everything.
https://themighty.com/2022/03/what-to-say-helpful-after-someone-dies/