We do need each other. There is no replacement for the support of another human being, regardless of what that support might look like. Just not being left alone with our struggles is a source of support.
This then brings Ben to another important point. Imagine if we all had a modicum of education about mental health and could not only show up for each other but show up with some educated actions to take.
We never get to see the thoughts of other people if they choose not to share them. We see ALL of our own thoughts, however. That puts us at a disadvantage when it comes to deciding what we “deserve” compared to others. We might do well to assume that everyone has the same kind of thoughts that we do at times because we all do. We just don’t talk about them and share them with the world. (Most of us anyway)
And, we all deserve self-care.
I have two takeaways after reading the rest of the article.
1. Difficult things seem easier when there is someone with us. The lack of friendships can make life seem more difficult than it really is. When life seems too difficult, we might be more likely to give up, or for the stress to have health impacts that lower our life expectancy.
2. The best thing you can do for someone struggling is simply showing up beside them.
In addition to the original betrayal, many survivors are then betrayed a second time when they are not believed or the abuse is minimized. When the people who should be protecting them refuse to see what is happening or refuse to believe that person that they trust would do such a thing, the child is betrayed by a second person, or a third, fourth, etc. Add in the fact that while these extra betrayals are happening it is also unlikely that the child is getting any assistance that could help alleviate PTSD with early interventions.
In short, the more betrayal, the more suffering. We all have a responsibility to, at the very least, not add to the betrayal.
I enjoyed reading it. Some of you looking for the best way to communicate your boundaries might find one or two valuable things on her list this season.
I liked
I’m not obligated to explain myself to you.
“No” is also a complete sentence you should feel free to use when appropriate.
Which script resonated the most with you from the list? What would you add?
I’ve seen so many examples of people who felt the need to say something to a grieving spouse, child, etc., that they wind up saying something that makes everyone who hears it cringe. There are some good examples of what not to say in the article below, but maybe this sentence is the best thing to remember:
“In the end, the best thing to say when you don’t know what to say is just that. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.” “
