The article below goes into some of that, and it is definitely something to consider. Do we “excuse” men who self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, are irritable and lash out, etc. as just men acting out? Or do we consider that those are depression symptoms just as much as the ones we see in the media every day? (Which are almost always women looking very sad, and mostly white women at that.)
Frankly, if I considered being irritable, drinking and acting out as just part of being a man, I probably wouldn’t even know to talk about my mental health. We need to be sure and talk about all aspects of mental health, and what symptoms might look like, before we can expect people to know enough to talk.
For men, we may not be doing a good enough job.… Read More
For example, if we know that kids who don’t understand boundaries, are lonely, live in stressful family situations, and do not have open communication with other people in their lives, are more likely to be sexually abused, what does that mean when a teen comes out and is not accepted by their family? Or when a blended family becomes dysfunctional, or a kid with disabilities is not taught boundaries but kept hidden away from others?
You have kids who are lonely, who don’t feel safe and loved, who don’t understand boundaries, etc.
If a kid who’s lonely and lacking in self esteem is at risk. And a kid who identifies as LGBTQ+ is at risk, can we stop for a minute and consider that it’s not being LGBTQ+ that is a risk factor, it’s how much more likely that kid is to be lonely and lacking in self-esteem?
And thus, the cycle continues. When it shouldn’t. We know what it is about disabled kids, kids from blended families, or LGBTQ+ kids that make them more prone to abuse, mental health issues, and suicide. It’s not their reality, it’s the responses to their reality that create the risk factors. The things that make them more likely to be loners, disconnected from family support, lacking safe adults to communicate with, etc.
So maybe we should focus on being more supportive of all kids?
And, since we’re on the topic and it is June. Happy Pride!… Read More
Sound familiar? I know, for me, this is absolutely the truth, and even though I’ve done a ton of work to overcome this, and learn how to turn off this hyper vigilance, there are still times when it kicks in, like say during a pandemic.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it here. The last 16 months have forced everyone into being hyper vigilant. How do we suddenly turn that off? How exhausted are we from spending that much time constantly on the lookout for danger, and the worst case scenario?
Personally, that exhaustion goes beyond any words I have to describe it. It reminds me very much of what it was like in my 20s when I only had the life skills I learned as a kid, which were mostly just responses to abuse, not healthy ways to live as an adult.… Read More
The article below gets into a lot more of the details of how different groups have been affected in a variety of ways, but the thing that I found myself nodding along to was this idea. This is not going to go away this Summer. People you know who have struggled, and have anxiety about things opening back up again, or are dealing with grief and depression, or the aftermath of all of the trauma that we’ve borne witness to over the last couple of years, are not going to just be “back to normal” and ready to hit happy hour like nothing happened.
We’re not there. We’re not going to be there for awhile. Give those people, and yourself if that describes you, some grace and patience.
Most of all, don’t stigmatize anyone for not being OK for a bit. We’ve all been dealing with different levels of trauma and anxiety, and you likely don’t even know half of how much people around you have been dealing with.
So, just be kind, OK?… Read More
It’s grounding. It doesn’t solve the thing I’m anxious about, but it stops the cycling, and allows me to focus on the reality of the situation, which is usually not nearly as bad as I’ve made it out to be.
But, it also assumes that I have someone to talk to about it. This is really the challenge for far too many people, who don’t have anyone to talk to.
Can you be the person who just listens? I’m willing to bet someone in your life could really use that.… Read More