It can be difficult to live in uncertain times. That old phrase, “May you live in interesting times,” is really more of a curse than a blessing. We can’t change the times we live in, and even if we could, there will always be uncertainty. We can, however, ground ourselves in the knowledge and confidence that we will, regardless, survive it.
The pity is that I prioritize this so little in my personal life. I’m constantly trying to “squeeze” in time with friends between work and other interests, and then wondering why my sense of personal community seems so lost. I think what Dr. Murthy talks about is part of it. I don’t think about time in this way. I’m always trying to maximize the time I spend with people, instead of just being with them.
The irony, of course, is how often I write about the best way to help people struggling with healing and mental health issues – just be with them. Yet, I don’t seem to realize how important it is to just be with our people regardless of what’s going on in their lives.
This makes sense. If you believe that society is ultimately fair, then poverty is a personal shortcoming rather than a failure of the system. If being poor is a personal shortcoming, the mental health impacts of living in poverty must also be your own responsibility to be dealt with, not a source of sympathy.
For an individual, it may help, and it may not. It’s important to note that a lower incidence of mental health issues does not mean no mental health incidents. You can exercise, drink two cups of coffee, and get a good night’s sleep every day, and while that is good for you and has benefits, there’s no guarantee that you will not be impacted by mental health issues.
We shouldn’t act surprised when claims of abuse are revealed many years after the act. That’s not evidence that the claim is false; it’s just the norm.
It requires so much more effort to even have basic interactions anymore. We’ve spent decades designing society this way. It’s not just a personal failing; it’s the entire system. Changing the system can’t be done by one person. But Mandy has some small steps we can take, and if enough people start taking them, maybe we can make some progress and shift the design toward something less lonely.
