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Sharing – How my Facebook post about suicide uncovered so much hidden male pain and suffering

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I have managed to be somewhat successful by society’s standard. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. To assume that must mean I wasn’t that hurt by it, is to tell me that you know nothing of my life, or the lives of thousands of other men like me. Is it any wonder so many don’t come forward and talk about it?

But, as the article below points out, there are too many men in pain, with nowhere to go, for us to not talk about it. They deserve better.… Read More

Sharing – How to Heal Childhood Trauma Without Forgiving the Person Who Caused It

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If you choose to forgive, know that it is your choice, including what forgiveness means to you. I’ve talked to many survivors who have made that choice, and how they define forgiveness isn’t always the same Know, however, that it absolutely does not mean you have to now be silent and never bring it up again, and know that people who desire your silence, are not your allies.

I will agree with Roseanna about that, it’s not about forgiveness, it’s about healing.… Read More

Sharing – Acknowledging Limits – Helping Others

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One of the things I immediately recommend to anyone asking about starting a blog like mine is to set your boundaries. If you don’t, you’ll burn out and be gone within 6 months. Decide what you will say, what you won’t, and how much time you’ll dedicate to writing for the blog and interacting with people online. Because if you don’t you’ll find yourself unable to cope and you’ll bail on it.

I’d say the same thing about anything. Yes, be with someone who needs support, but set your boundaries around it, and make sure you are still taking care of your own life. Because the only thing worse than someone not sitting and listening to a friend or loved one when they are struggling, is having some do it for a while, and then disappear. That doesn’t do anyone any good. We all need you to be well just as much as we need you to stick with relationships when someone is dealing with healing, or mental health issues.

Set your boundaries, and be willing to stick to them, lovingly. As Liz says in her piece, it’s not about you doing everything, it’s about you pointing them to a whole host of options for support. That is what being a good support system is all about.… Read More

Shared Links (weekly) April 4, 2021

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Ask a Black Therapist: 5 tips to support Black mental health during the Derek Chauvin trial

Teens and depression: How parents can help

9 books about mental health and wellbeing to read in 2021

A ground breaking campaign that changed the mental health landscape

How to Save a Life  – Suicidality is on the rise in 2021. Talking about it can change everything.

Book of the Month March 2021 – A Tiny Spark of Hope: Healing Childhood Trauma

I Use Everything in My Resilience Toolkit to Keep My Mental and Physical Health Intact.… Read More

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