I was reading Carolyn’s comment on that last post, and she used a term I’d been thinking about lately, “damaged goods.”
Are we, as child abuse survivors, damaged goods? To a certain extent, we are. Being victimized like that as a child leaves long-lasting impressions and issues. On the other hand, it’s not exactly a death sentence either. Many people have overcome the issues surrounding being a survivor and lived successful, happy lives.
The other thing about being “damaged goods” is that, to some degree, everyone over the age of 15 is. Everyone you meet comes with their baggage, whether from parental relationships, past romantic relationships, or just life in general. You will never meet anyone without a different perspective on life and the issues they are dealing with continuously. In a sense, we are all damaged goods.
This sense of being damaged goods most often comes up regarding romantic relationships. I’ve got news for you. If you’re looking for a partner with no baggage and no “damage” from previous relationships, you will spend a lot of time alone. And, if you’re afraid of talking about your past out of fear of being labeled “damaged,” fear not. All you’re doing is weeding out the people too shallow to be worth your time anyway. Go ahead and weed them out, and focus your energies on finding the people who not only don’t view you as damaged but recognize your great strength as a survivor.
We can all use more people in our lives, whether in romantic relationships or just friends, who see our positive traits and remind us of them.