Damaged Goods
I was reading Carolyn’s comment on that last post and she used a term that I’d been thinking about lately, “damaged goods”.
Are we, as child abuse survivors, damaged goods? To a certain extent, we are. Being victimized like that as a child leaves long lasting impressions and issues. On the other hand, it’s not exactly a death sentence either. Plenty of people have overcome the issues surrounding being a survivor and gone to to live succesful, happy lives.
The other thing about being “damaged goods” is that to some degree, everyone over the age of 15 is. Everyone you meet comes with their own baggage, whether it be from parental relationships, past romantic relationships, or just life in general. You will never meet anyone who doesn’t have their own perspective on life, and their own issues that they are dealing with on an ongoing basis. In a sense, we are all damaged goods.
This sense of being damaged goods most often comes up in regards to romantic relationships. I’ve got news for you. If you’re looking for a partner with no baggage, no “damage” from previous relationships, you’re going to spend an awful lot of time alone. And, if you’re afraid of talking about your past out of fear of being labeled “damaged”, fear not. All you’re doing is weeding out the people who are too shallow to be worth your time anyway. Go ahead and weed them out, and focus your energies on finding the people who not only don’t view you as damaged, but recognize the great strength that you posess as a survivor.
We can all do with more people in our lives, romantic relationships or just friends, who see our positive traits and remind us of them.
Hi Mike
“damaged goods”, my wife, keepers, used to use that term to describe themselves. It took me a long time to convince them they were only as damaged as they allowed themselves to be. They have grown and survives and are well on their way to thriving. We all have damaged parts of ourselves, from whatever, how we survive that damage via damage control is so determining on where we go from that point on. You sound like you are surviving and thriving!! congratulations to you and for putting that message out there.
Peace and blessings
john and keepers
http://www.keeperskorner.com
Another insightful post, Mike! Yes, damage has occurred. There is no denying that. Yet, as I have healed, I choose to think of myself as other than “damaged goods” or “broken.” An affirmation I like to use often states, “I am WHOLE.” I like the sound of that a lot!
Hey Mike,
Found your site recently… didn’t know there were others who were able to talk lucidly about their experiences – I started my own earlier this year, but don’t really know what to expect from it, why I’m doing it, etc.
just a thanks to know that you’re out there, like me, writing about what goes on for us. I’ve only recently found out about my abuse so it’s early days and very, very difficult to get my head round what it really means.
Thanks again
No victim of child abuse will EVER live a happy life. Somewhere deep down inside, they will always be depressed. They’ll just appear to be happy to everyone else.