Damaged Goods
I was reading Carolyn’s comment on that last post, and she used a term I’d been thinking about lately, “damaged goods.”
Are we, as child abuse survivors, damaged goods? To a certain extent, we are. Being victimized like that as a child leaves long-lasting impressions and issues. On the other hand, it’s not exactly a death sentence either. Many people have overcome the issues surrounding being a survivor and lived successful, happy lives.
The other thing about being “damaged goods” is that, to some degree, everyone over the age of 15 is. Everyone you meet comes with their baggage, whether from parental relationships, past romantic relationships, or just life in general. You will never meet anyone without a different perspective on life and the issues they are dealing with continuously. In a sense, we are all damaged goods.
This sense of being damaged goods most often comes up regarding romantic relationships. I’ve got news for you. If you’re looking for a partner with no baggage and no “damage” from previous relationships, you will spend a lot of time alone. And, if you’re afraid of talking about your past out of fear of being labeled “damaged,” fear not. All you’re doing is weeding out the people too shallow to be worth your time anyway. Go ahead and weed them out, and focus your energies on finding the people who not only don’t view you as damaged but recognize your great strength as a survivor.
We can all use more people in our lives, whether in romantic relationships or just friends, who see our positive traits and remind us of them.
Hi Mike
“damaged goods”, my wife, keepers, used to use that term to describe themselves. It took me a long time to convince them they were only as damaged as they allowed themselves to be. They have grown and survives and are well on their way to thriving. We all have damaged parts of ourselves, from whatever, how we survive that damage via damage control is so determining on where we go from that point on. You sound like you are surviving and thriving!! congratulations to you and for putting that message out there.
Peace and blessings
john and keepers
http://www.keeperskorner.com
Another insightful post, Mike! Yes, damage has occurred. There is no denying that. Yet, as I have healed, I choose to think of myself as other than “damaged goods” or “broken.” An affirmation I like to use often states, “I am WHOLE.” I like the sound of that a lot!
Hey Mike,
Found your site recently… didn’t know there were others who were able to talk lucidly about their experiences – I started my own earlier this year, but don’t really know what to expect from it, why I’m doing it, etc.
just a thanks to know that you’re out there, like me, writing about what goes on for us. I’ve only recently found out about my abuse so it’s early days and very, very difficult to get my head round what it really means.
Thanks again
No victim of child abuse will EVER live a happy life. Somewhere deep down inside, they will always be depressed. They’ll just appear to be happy to everyone else.