I came across this article on Water Cooler Wisdom about Relationship Laziness that really struck a chord with me. It’s easy for me to get caught up in my own little world often, especially when it comes to friendships, inside and outside my workplace. Especially this part:
People don’t want to feel that you’re talking to them, or hanging out with them, out of convenience. They don’t want to believe that if they stopped taking all the initiative, they’d never see you again. They want to know that you care enough about the relationship to think about it on your own and ACT, without constantly being prodded.
I’ve had friends in the past who simply stopped taking all the initiative and I’ve allowed those relationships to drift away. At the same time, I’ve also been on the other end, where when I stopped taking all the initiative a relationship withered away. Sometimes, that’s just life. People come and go from our lives all the time, we drift apart with different interests, etc. But other times, you discover that the other person really didn’t care enough to act, or think about the relationship on their own. That can be a pretty hurtful thing to experience.
I’m reminded of one particular friend back when I switched jobs a couple of years ago. She was a good friend of both Angela and I, and her actions at the time I left made it obvious that she seemed concerned that we’d simply disappear on her now that she and I weren’t working together any longer. I remember thinking to myself, first, that she was just being silly, of course I’d keep in touch, and we absolutely have. On the other hand I thought, you know, I don’t want to be the friend that people worry is going to disappear on them. I want the people I care about to know that I care enough to not get lazy on the relationship. I want to keep in touch with people, and spend time with them when possible, not just when I’ve got nothing else going on.
Still, it never hurts to get a good reminder of that like this article. 🙂
(Link first seen at Lifehacker)
Tags: Relationships, Friendship, WaterCoolerWisdom