World Suicide Prevention Day 2021

posted in: Observations 0 |
Reading Time: 4 minutes

So, the thing I want us to talk about this year is not just encouragement to call a hotline or to reach out to a friend for help, or even to tell our stories and erase the stigma around mental health issues. I want us to consider doing more than that. I want us, as a society, to figure out how to provide hope. As much value as there is in all of those other things if I can’t provide some hope that things will get better, that we are working and advocating for things to get better across all areas of our culture, then I can’t honestly say that there is a reason for someone to hope, and at the end of the day, the thing that truly prevented me from taking my own life when I was at my worst, was the hope that life wouldn’t always be that painful.

As it turned out, my life wasn’t always that painful, and even in times of pain, I can look back and remember that.

How do we provide that hope for others who have been beaten down and worn out with life right now? Where does their hope come from?… Read More

It’s All So Toxic

posted in: Observations 0 |
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Of course, one of the tell-tale signs of depression, and unhealthy responses to trauma, like abuse, is overly black and white thinking. Going to extremes, if you will. So, it’s easy for many of us to fall into these toxic traps. It’s easy to think that we should feel shame about what happened to us, or that we can somehow rid ourselves of that shame, and anger, by simply refusing to do anything but be positive. But neither one of these is real healing. Real healing, like real emotions, and real people, are messier than that.

It’s still worth it though, as are a lot of those messy emotions and people too. If you let yourself get out of the black and white thinking, you just might see that too.… Read More

Quick Thought #18 – Sports as an Example of The Lens We See Life Through

posted in: Quick Thoughts 0 |
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Just like in sports though, sometimes it’s not about how the world works, or what mistakes we made, it’s about the other team. In our case, it’s the abuser. They did this. Healing is understanding that, and coming to grips with the fact that our lens is wrong. We’re looking at someone else’s actions and choices through a lens that only sees ourselves. We were abused, maybe when we told someone, we weren’t believed, or maybe even as adults, when we share our experiences we make others uncomfortable. But it’s not us. Other people get to make their own choices, have their own reactions, and choose who, and what, to believe.

What we need to do, is start untying other people actions and reactions, from ourselves. The abuser chose to abuse. The people who refused to help, made that choice, and the people who still don’t believe us, have their own reasons for doing that. None of it has anything to do with us, those are other people making their own choices, playing their own game. We can do everything right, live our life to the best of our abilities and still “lose” in these interactions. It happens. It doesn’t lessen us, it shows us who these other people are, and tells us about their agendas.

We learn from that, and move on. We do not blame ourselves for their agendas.

It does take developing a more mature lens to view life through, and that takes time, and work. Are you up for it? Or maybe the better question, are you tired of blaming yourself?… Read More

Deaths by Suicide Went Down in 2020, Maybe Actually Talking and Paying Attention to Mental Health Matters?

posted in: Observations 0 |
Reading Time: 2 minutes

So is it possible that simply making some sort of care easily accessible to more people, and looking out for each other, including in the workplace, helped lower the number of deaths by suicide? I’m willing to continue trying to do both of those things going forward to find out. It certainly seems like as good a place to start as any, and maybe lowering that number isn’t as complicated as we thought. It just takes the willingness to get these things done.… Read More

Why Should I “Earn” The Things That Are a Required Part of Life?

posted in: Observations 1 |
Reading Time: 2 minutes

If you want to eat, eat. Your body needs food.

If you want to sleep, sleep. Your body needs sleep.

If you need to do something for your mental health? Do it, your mind needs care.

If you want to workout, workout. It’s good for you.

If you want to work hard on a project, work hard. The sense of accomplishment you get from hard work is great.

Do any of these things, it’s your choice. But don’t let your view of the things you need be altered by things you might want to do, and don’t let anyone else tell you how to earn those things. You don’t have to earn food and rest, they are a required part of being a human. You’re allowed to be human, no matter how hard you workout.… Read More

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