Observations

  • On Martin Luther King Day

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 4 minutes

    When I think of the famous speeches of Dr. King, I am always reminded of this fact. We have always seen certain groups of people as less deserving of the rights we willingly claim for ourselves. Be it blacks, immigrants, prisoners, those with mental health struggles or disabilities, members of the LGBTQ community, or addicts, it is far too easy to look at them with judgment and disdain. Maybe even fear. They’re different than me. What happens to them is not my concern. They probably brought it on themselves anyway.

    Those are all too easy to say. The hard work is in looking at people who are different from us, who live different lives, make different choices, and recognize our common humanity. That’s what Dr. King was talking about. Not being blind to our differences but being aware that we are all human and deserve respect based on that. So when a black man is lynched, or a prisoner dies from a lack of medical care, or someone struggling dies from suicide without access to mental healthcare, or because their own family won’t accept them for who they are, we fail as a society. We fail to see human life as human life.

  • We Still Have to Talk about Why Sexual Assault Victims, Including Kids, Don’t Come Forward

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Never mind the fact that they might have tried to tell someone and got shut down.

    Never mind the fact that they might have told someone who didn’t believe them.

    Never mind the fact that telling someone is going to create a massive conflict within their own family.

    Never mind the fact that it’s doubtful that any conviction will occur if they tell the police.

    Never mind the fact that they will now, and maybe forever, be seen as damaged goods by a large segment of society.

    Never mind that, no matter how heinous the crime, they’ll have to answer question after question about what they did to provoke it.

  • When Trauma Response are Helpful – And When They Aren’t.

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    In the big picture, the thing I know that I need to do is to be aware of when I’m in that mode and act accordingly. There can be some great benefits to hypervigilance and there can be some real downsides. If I’m aware of it, I can scan the environment as necessary without ignoring other important, but not dangerous, bits of information, and watch out for my own overreactions. I can consciously use the skill that I learned as a trauma survivor for my own good without it wrecking my day-to-day life or causing more anxiety.

    It’s a tricky line to walk, and I’ll be the first to admit I don’t always do it so well.

  • | |

    Friendships Matter Much More than the Value We Place on Them

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 5 minutes

    It’s worth considering your friends and recognizing that we need all kinds of friends. We need loose connections, and we need tight connections. We need long-term friends, and we need friends for a season of our lives.

    In short, we need each other. I’m afraid this has gotten lost in our culture and priorities, and I consider myself as guilty as anyone.

    I also know that being guilty of not prioritizing friendships has hurt me. It’s likely hurting you. It is hurting all of society. It’s time we started valuing close friendships again.

  • Some Conversations Are Easier Online

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    I have understood this for a long time. I can write here without having to see anyone react immediately when they read it. I can see their reaction when I tell someone about being abused in person. I can watch their facial expressions and body language. I can see every bit of their discomfort, and their signs of dismissal cut me. If you don’t think telling someone in person that you need their help isn’t scary, I can only assume that is because you’ve never done it.

    So when you see someone share something on social media about their mental health, and your response is to wonder why they didn’t just talk to you about it, remember how much harder that is. Maybe they aren’t ready yet, or you just haven’t done enough to earn that trust. Consider how many people in your life may be dealing with very difficult things they just haven’t told anyone about yet.