We don’t talk enough about this:
Like many caregivers, Dolly Parton didn’t take care of her own health while caring for her ailing husband. That’s not unusual, even among people with resources.
https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/27/health/dolly-parton-husband-caregiving-wellness
Over the years, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen a spouse pass away shortly after their partner struggled with an illness for a very long time and had it romanticized. How many couples died within months of each other and had their loved ones met with statements about how much they couldn’t be apart, or that the second member of the couple died of a broken heart.
Maybe, just maybe, we should consider that taking care of an ill partner would end up killing them too? Because that’s the simplest explanation. Taking care of the “sicker” partner, often with very little help, meant not taking care of themselves, and their health deteriorated to a point where it didn’t take long for them to pass as well.
I’m not sure what the solution to this is. I imagine it is likely some combination of better healthcare resources, better communities, recognizing the need to support caretakers at home and work, etc. What I do know is that romanticizing it won’t solve anything. Talking about how Dolly wanted to be with her husband does a disservice to what happened while she was caring for him, and to all the people out there caring for a loved one without nearly the resources she had. They deserve better than platitudes; they deserve real support.
How do we, as a society, make sure that we take care of both the person suffering from an illness and the people trying to take care of them?