I do. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was on the phone with a former coworker who complimented me on the work I do with this site, and it took everything I had to say thank you instead of trying to diminish it.
I’m also not above admitting I said thank you mostly in the hope she would stop talking about it and go back to what we had been talking about before she brought it up.
Yeah, compliments make me that uncomfortable. I know I’m not alone in that. That is why when I saw this post I had to check it out:
Sara explains some of the reasons why it’s hard, including how much easier it is to internalize negative feedback than a compliment and the ways in which we deflect them, much as I tried to do. She also shares a few thoughts on what we should consider as we try to get better at accepting compliments.
My favorite thing to consider from her list: Do you compliment yourself? Why or why not?
As a survivor advocate, I have written dozens of times and told people individually at least as many times that the abuse was not our fault; it does not reflect on us negatively. Nothing in our character deserved or attracted the abuse.
I know that. I feel that. So why can’t I stop being unable to compliment myself or accept compliments from others? Why do you?