Sara explains some of the reasons why it’s hard, including how much easier it is to internalize negative feedback than a compliment and the ways in which we deflect them, much as I tried to do. She also has a few thoughts on what we should take into consideration as we try to get better at accepting compliments.
My favorite thing to consider from her list – Do you compliment yourself? Why or why not?
When Nedra talks about growing up in an alcoholic family, naturally that was something that resonated with me. Growing up my father was an alcoholic. It was normal for me to fear your father, especially when they’d been drinking. It was normal for there to be violence at home. It was normal for children to be physically attacked for as little as making too much noise.
Perhaps worst of all, it was also normal to keep it all secret, to not share what happens at home outside of the immediate family.
Which made it all the more easy for the sexual abuse I suffered later to be kept secret. And, in some odd way, for it also to seem normal.
This is a good suggestion for those times when you feel the pressure to respond right away, don’t want to upset anyone, and just agree. It’s classic people-pleasing behavior. Far better to just give yourself a pause to make a better decision.
There was no gift involved in child abuse, no silver lining, and no reason for it to happen. It was abuse inflicted on me by another person. Period. That experience is part of me but not nearly the sum of who I am. I refuse to let anyone define me that narrowly.
The Internet Watch Foundation has released a checklist for parents concerned about the safety of their children online.
Mental Health misinformation is a big deal. It can damage people dealing with mental health issues to spend time chasing down “bogus ” fixes. It can create stigma when the public believes there are easy ways to fix depression and anxiety because how dumb are we not to have done that?
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