Family

  • Another Tool in Abuse Prevention – Community

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 3 minutes

    This is where the community comes in. Kids with strong connections to safe adults are less likely to be targeted and more likely to tell if they are. LGBTQ kids are less likely to struggle with suicidal ideation when they have adults who accept them as they are. Kids dealing with anxiety and depression have better outcomes when they have safe adults to talk through their emotions with, who can support them through difficult times. I’ve discussed at length the importance of strong relationships with parents as the best preventive measure we have for keeping children safe and supported. I’ve also discussed, on my other site, the importance of work-life balance and inclusivity in the workplace for parents. That’s what being a community that supports families’ needs to succeed includes.

  • Sharing – Why Siblings Can Have Different Childhoods And Impressions Of Their Parents

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 3 minutes

    The article below describes how this can happen, mostly focused on several factors. One, things change. The family’s circumstances change over the years, your parents change over the years, and so an older or younger sibling might have been raised differently than we were. Also, we are different. Some kids’ personalities mesh differently with their parents compared to their siblings. That’s all pretty normal. 

    I want to talk about childhood abuse, especially why it can seem like our siblings don’t understand when we tell them about our abuse. One of the things that becomes clear as you read the link is that kids might grow up in the same biological family but not necessarily in the same circumstances.

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    Connection Matters – An Example

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    As I read this, I couldn’t help but compare it to the hundreds of stories where the opposite was true. People are so afraid of saying the wrong thing or so uncomfortable with the idea of mental health issues that they run the other way. They disconnect from someone who so desperately needs connection. Someone they love is feeling all that embarrassment and pain and no longer has anyone to connect to and remind them of their value, their humanness.

    As the title of Elizabeth’s post says, we need each other.

  • Some Reality About Loving a Survivor

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    It is true. As much as you might love your partner and want to support them, there are ripple effects that impact well beyond the individual survivor. Those ripple effects are painful, and we can acknowledge that pain without diminishing the pain of being the direct victim. All of it sucks, and all of it is the fault of the abuser.

    There’s no one else to blame, just a lot of people left to struggle. Let’s do what we can to support all of them.

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    Sharing – ‘My Husband Was Hospitalized, I Didn’t Tell People Why’

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Imagine your spouse going into a hospital for surgery or an injury and having no help navigating that, and also trying to take care of a 12-year-old daughter without anyone else there to take care of a meal or two or transport your kid to school and other events. That’s the reality Amy, and many other families, find themselves in because we still live in a world where we aren’t supposed to admit to having mental health issues and where those are the kinds of secrets you keep within the immediate family only.

  • Sharing – What Not to Say to Your Grieving Friend

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    I’ve seen so many examples of people who felt the need to say something to a grieving spouse, child, etc., that they wind up saying something that makes everyone who hears it cringe. There are some good examples of what not to say in the article below, but maybe this sentence is the best thing to remember:

    “In the end, the best thing to say when you don’t know what to say is just that. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.” “