As she puts it, there’s a shortage of therapists in general, a shortage of therapists that take insurance, and a shortage of therapists with specialized training. None of that will change without significant changes to the mental health system, and even if it did, we still wouldn’t have enough therapists, especially in rural areas.
I have noticed that playing music around our house definitely raises my spirits in a similar way as exercise, so it’s nice to know that researchers are looking into some other options for helping our mental health above and beyond “get more exercise”.
What I like more though, is a research article that contains this common-sense reminder about how we are all different:
Losing a spouse, parent, sibling, etc. for me would be different than losing one of my friends. I love them differently, and I imagine I would grieve differently.. Losing anyone you love hurts but you likely have a variety of different relationships with people so it only makes sense that you would grieve them differently too, and then it also becomes obvious that we all will grieve differently from each other. There’s no straight line, there’s no “normal” way to grieve, there is just one individual processing the loss of another person that they had a unique connection to.
Wherever you are in that process is where you are. It’s not a contest and it’s not a pre-defined timeline. It’s a loss and you are free to mourn that.
I’m not a researcher but these two facts make me wonder if there’s not something we can do.
If we have a list of “nudges” that can help people feel like they belong or help educate people about things like safety plans, etc. and we don’t know who is at risk and which nudge might help them, maybe we should just continue to generally be kind to the people around us. That means trying to understand what makes them feel supported, connected, etc., and doing those things consistently. It also means noticing if a “nudge” has the opposite effect, and trying something different instead.
Help people feel like they belong, educate people about prevention resources, help them stay connected to family and friends, involve them, accept them, etc.
Help your friends and loved ones by communicating the kinds of things that help you. When you feel disconnected or like you are a burden, what can they do to keep you connected? What things do they do that make it worse?
When we don’t talk about these things we only make it worse, and we only continue to lose more people. We have to learn how to have these conversations. We have to be open to listening to the people closest to us and connecting to them without stigma and judgment. The researchers will keep working to learn more about prevention, but in the meantime simply caring about each other and being honest with each other is the best tool we have. We should use it.
We actually know the things that can offer hope, we just don’t have a system that can deliver them. Our system is broken, the medical community can offer medicine and some limited treatment options but the day-to-day support and the work to reach a state of something more than symptom reduction doesn’t actually exist for most people.
This has to change. Go read more of what he has to say, I think for many of you it will seem familiar, but maybe provide some hope that we are not alone in seeing it.
Now if we can just find enough of us to care enough to fix it. We should all want to, mental health issues will happen to someone we all know and care about, eventually. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to offer a system that does not involve homelessness and prison time for far too many?
Kindness matters, and kids who see kindness not just directed at them, but acts of kindness that they witness second-hand, have fewer signs of anxiety and other issues.
But, as in most things, some groups are much more likely to see kindness and support directed at them, while others, especially minority and LGBTQ kids generally don’t see kindness around them as often.
Seems to me that is a simple fix for this. Work at being kind to everyone. It clearly matters to kids, and even though this study doesn’t show it, I would bet it matters to adults as well!
