Child Abuse Survivor Blog

  • A Misunderstanding – What I Assumed Would Be Freeing Seems to be Difficult

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    As I said, that’s the good news. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t ask to be abused any more than a woman asks to be sexually harassed on the street or a minority asks to be discriminated against, and there wasn’t any action you took to cause it. The decision to abuse was 100% on the abuser. 

    I also understand that this is bad news. Some people decide to hurt others based on their desires and ideas. There is no other reason and no promise that it will be just. It isn’t easy to let go of that ideal when it’s been drilled into us from an early age. Letting go means a complete reinterpretation of the world and our place in it. It’s hard work to figure out how to live our lives if something we’ve clung to since childhood isn’t true. 

  • Seeking Simple Answers is The Opposite of Emotional Intelligence

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Accepting that reality and moving forward is maturity. It’s how we find solutions to complicated problems like a lack of mental health resources, addiction, oppression, poverty, etc. Those answers will not be found in conspiracy theories or blame games. It’s how we sit with people who have suffered loss and trauma without dismissing their pain. 

    Sadly, too many people seem to be looking for the easy answer to ease their discomfort rather than the answers that will bring about real change. We all pay for not teaching people how to be emotionally intelligent enough to do that. 

  • Social Media is Not What It Promised to Be – a History

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 4 minutes

    You are my online community, and while your numbers might not be as large as the number of followers I had on other platforms, I’m not worried about how this platform will change and become dangerous to any of you. This platform, MY platform, is safe for survivors, for those of you with mental health struggles, and for those of you dealing with illness, oppression, hatred, and discrimination. There are no shareholders to be beholden to, no one tracking you, no ads. There’s nothing here but one guy reminding you all that you are not alone.

  • Why Finding your Current Baseline Matters

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    Many people give up on healing because they can’t see how far they’ve come. They can only see how far away their ideal self is from where they are now. Sadly, this ideal is often unrealistic. We are also blind to our progress because we didn’t set the baseline. We look at our status today and can only compare it to what we think we should be instead of looking back and seeing how much improvement there was. 

  • The Difference Between Knowledge and Life Experience

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    You should not feel sorry for me. This post isn’t about me. As I said, I have a condition that millions of people deal with every day. I’ll do the same. It’s about the reality that people around us are living with things that require efforts that we don’t understand. Just showing up for life every day requires effort and dedication from everyone you know. The amount of effort and challenges are different, and they are not distributed equally. You shouldn’t dismiss anyone’s struggles, especially if you’ve not been in those same circumstances yourself. 

    Some things have to be experienced to see all the details. When someone is willing to share the details of their challenges, listen and learn. Raise their voices instead of assuming you know the answers. 

    Experience is a hard teacher. We all can learn the lessons from those who’ve lived it. 

  • History Survives When We Talk About It

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    No matter what our leaders want to include or exclude from the official histories, we know these events happened. We may not be successful in getting large-scale claims of abuse into the history books of the future, though we should try, but we can all continue to talk about them. The mainstream may want us to be quiet about the abuse that happens within the family, the church, etc., but we can tell our stories. We have voices, our own online spaces, connections, and the freedom to speak.

    Most of all, we can support the people telling those stories. They are preserving our history and reminding all of us that the survivors are out here, we know what was done, and we will not accept the lies. We can ensure the truth is out there for those who want to learn and do everything we can to ensure that history is shared.Â