Sharing – How To Identify Grooming Predatory Behavior & Stop It
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Sharing – How To Identify Grooming Predatory Behavior & Stop It

That’s our blind spot. We’re so busy looking for creepy, anti-social, stereotypes that we miss the charming abusers right in our midst, and we miss all the signs and hints that our kids might be dropping because we just didn’t stop to consider that adult to be dangerous. We just assumed they were safe, and our kids would somehow know better anyway.

Clearly, that strategy isn’t working.

Why Suicide Prevention Week Is Important for Child Abuse Survivors

Why Suicide Prevention Week Is Important for Child Abuse Survivors

I’ve survived both childhood abuse, and a suicide attempt. I know what it feels like to believe that it will never get better, just as much as I know that it can get better because it has.

Truthfully, you are a survivor, and the world needs you and your story. How else will the other survivors around you know what is possible?

How We Talk to Ourselves Matters

How We Talk to Ourselves Matters

As you read the rest of the article you’ll see how self-distancing conversations look a lot more like those conversations with friends I referenced earlier. Getting away from all of the “I” and “me” and fairly judging the situation quietly and calmly as if it was happening to someone else can put it into a perspective that we sometimes lose when we are thinking of ourselves, especially those of us who struggle with self-blame. Of course, then that self-blame turns to rumination which feeds into depression, and round and round we go. 

There is a better way, and the examples given can help if we are willing to practice them. Especially the idea of reminding ourselves that we’ve already been through tougher, and more stressful situations and come out the other side.

Is Music Helping You Get Through?

Is Music Helping You Get Through?

Speaking, again, for myself, when I get frustrated with world events, work, or whatever might be irritating me beyond belief at the moment, a good bit of loud music can help me express that and just get it out of my system so that I can then continue on with my life. I find myself getting more and more irritable if I haven’t found a way to express the frustration that I may be feeling at any particular time until it eventually shows up in maybe ways I would rather it doesn’t. So, when I find myself getting more and more frustrated, out come the headphones, and a little punk rock, until I feel better. 

And, really, there is a lot to be frustrated about in the world right now, let alone our individual lives. If some loud music helps me deal with that, so be it. So, let’s at least fill our lives with some music. It certainly can’t hurt. 

What impact does music have on your own emotional well-being? Have you thought about the role it could play in self-care?

Would Everyone Benefit From Having a Therapist?
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Would Everyone Benefit From Having a Therapist?

She goes on to document the appallingly low percentage of people who manage to get therapy, as well as the difference between white patients and minorities. She then goes on to talk about this in the context of the quote above, which I had not considered previously. If finding a therapist is truly like dating, and it is in my experience as well, how do we not only make sure that therapy is available, but that there is more than one to choose from?

Another Reminder – Just Because Something Works for Others, Does Not Mean It’ll Work For You

Another Reminder – Just Because Something Works for Others, Does Not Mean It’ll Work For You

If Mindfulness is something that helps you, great. If it doesn’t, don’t beat yourself up over that fact, or continue a practice that is actually causing harm. That makes no sense at all. Just accept that it’s not for you, and hopefully, the people around us who are pushing it as the cure-all, especially the ones trying to sell it to you, can learn to accept that too.

What has your experience with it been? What other “recommended” tools have not worked for you? How did you handle the folks who continue to tell you it would?