It took me a long time to be comfortable with what happened. Most of that was internal, the embarrassment of being the guy who had public mental health issues and spent a long time in therapy, and trying to build a new life. Part of it was also watching people be uncomfortable in my presence. I didn’t have a choice about who knew about it, and I learned to embrace it as part of my story. That didn’t happen immediately.
Can you imagine the double blow it must be to have your spouse struggling with addiction or severe mental illness, and know that your friends are likely avoiding you as well? Is there stigma directed at you for being married to someone with mental health issues?Â
They are correct in adding that it exists on a spectrum, and while it may serve us when things are very stressful beyond our control, it can also become debilitating in its own way. Still, I think we all dissociate from time to time, and in our current social climate, it might not be the worst thing. We need to buffer ourselves and set boundaries that allow us to continue with our lives, even as things are messy around us.Â
It seems many parents want schools to do more in this space, which makes sense, because mental health issues only get worse when kids grow up without support.Â
One problem with blanket rules for everything is that there will always be a situation where the rule harms someone. Parental consent rules are one example. Sure, it’s great when parents are involved in their kids’ care. It’s ideal, even.Â
That assumes they have good parents, though. When the thing a kid needs protection against is the parent, you can’t demand the parent’s consent for that.
As a kid, I needed everything to be perfect, not because I was some overachiever. It was because I knew in my heart and body that anything that wasn’t right could create a violent situation. Any detail overlooked, any warning sign missed, or any wrong word could end up with me getting abused. It became a learned behavior like Pavlov’s dogs. Any mistake created anxiety and fear of repercussion.Â
