How about just saying no to that pressure and making gift-giving about why we give gifts in the first place, to show someone that we care about them and value having them in our life?
That seems less stressful and isn’t limited to the end of December. I bet people would value a gift giving any time of year, and I bet giving it will give you a happiness boost, too.
The original news story is from 2013, and I admit I was unaware of it. On the other hand, there is something positive in seeing that something as tragic as this can spur activity and solutions in the Netherlands to deal with loneliness and the lack of social connection:
What Rebekah is writing about isn’t finding the meaning that would define why we were abused. That’s toxic. What she is writing about is finding what it means to live with childhood trauma.
The question we often ask ourselves about being abused is the simplest one to answer, but we’ve gotten it twisted.
Why was I abused? Because someone else decided to abuse me.
Consider how often a child is not believed because the family friend or member “doesn’t seem like the type?”
That’s familial grooming. That is getting the family to see you as one thing when you are targeting a child in that family, thereby not only giving you access to the child but creating doubt about whether their own child is telling the truth. It also doesn’t help that so many of us think we know what a predator looks like, and are so easily fooled:
We tend to have these odd expectations about what our Christmas Day should look like. Anything less than the Instagram-worthy family photo with matching PJs and the large dinner surrounded by a loving family is considered an unhappy holiday when this picture of a holiday isn’t possible or desired for so many of us.
When we rush to do something for the children, there’s a long history of implementing changes that do not help children. Running out to block teens from using social media might also cut them off from the only source of support they have, especially kids who do not have support at home from their parents. Creating age verification requirements threatens our privacy and creates unlimited risks for identity theft. Rushing to do something because a few studies show a possible mental health risk is dangerous.
