Living in Survival Mode

Living in Survival Mode

ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

Maybe, instead of blaming people for overreacting, we should consider for a moment why they do not feel safe. And instead of beating ourselves up for overreacting, we consider how to ground ourselves and remind ourselves of our safety when the need arises.

As survivors, our healing depends on our ability to create a life where we feel safe. That means both being in a safe place and learning to recognize that safety to get out of this constant survival mode. That mode is not sustainable. It was never meant to be a constant state of being.

Shared Links (weekly) Dec. 25 2022 – Merry Christmas Edition

Shared Links (weekly) Dec. 25 2022 – Merry Christmas Edition

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute
Consider The Time of Day When Scheduling Therapy

Consider The Time of Day When Scheduling Therapy

ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

Let me acknowledge this first, as soon as I saw the headline of this article, I immediately thought, “who gets to choose what time of day they go to their therapy appointments? You take whatever you can get!”

Is There A Best Time Of Day For Therapy? Here’s What Therapists Say

That’s not wrong. On the other hand, I think there are some good points to consider when you choose, if you have a choice, about the time of day.

Sharing – Growth Requires Unlearning as Much as Learning

Sharing – Growth Requires Unlearning as Much as Learning

ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

As children in an abusive situation, we may have learned a lot of things that helped us survive that situation. Outside of that situation, as adults, however, it may be time to unlearn some of those things.

For example, we can’t learn to trust a person as an adult until we first unlearn that “fact” we took from childhood that no one was to be trusted. We can’t learn to love ourselves until we unlearn the blame and shame we took upon ourselves due to the abuse.

Sharing – The Problem of Male Grief

Sharing – The Problem of Male Grief

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

When my wife and I both lost our parents in a short period, I was thankful that there were people in our lives who gave us space to grieve and checked in on both of us. I’m also acutely aware of how different the reactions were as well. Part of that was the difference in relationships, my wife was much closer to her parents than I was to mine, but there was also an undertone where I was expected to be less emotional about it than she was. Again, plenty of people did better, but it was still there.

I also recognize that I was lucky to have people in my life who saw that. Many men do not have any space to grieve or process emotions other than anger. For those men, read the whole thing and learn how to create space.

Sharing – What Not to Say to Your Grieving Friend

Sharing – What Not to Say to Your Grieving Friend

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

I’ve seen so many examples of people who felt the need to say something to a grieving spouse, child, etc., that they wind up saying something that makes everyone who hears it cringe. There are some good examples of what not to say in the article below, but maybe this sentence is the best thing to remember:

“In the end, the best thing to say when you don’t know what to say is just that. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.” “