Andy left a comment here the other day, and earlier this week I spotted a post on his blog where he linked here. (It’s a small part of a long post..)
In it he says this about this site and myself:
Well, this guy has been around longer than me, has quite a few links to people in similar circumstances and really when it comes down to it, is dealing with it better than I am. I seem stuck, this guy has moved on, in every sense.
Let’s get something straight about this site. I’ve been writing on-line about recovering from abuse for something like 8 years, 4 on this site. It took me a while to even work up to writing about it. I’m not going to lie and say that in many, many ways, I have healed, but in some I still struggle.
The other thing, and maybe the most important, is to give yourself a break. It took many, many years, and lots of work to reach this point and that’s just my journey. Everyone’s journey to “healthy” is different. I truly believe that we should never spend time comparing where we are with our struggles as opposed to other survivors, it serves no purpose. We should share our stories and talk about our struggles so that we don’t succumb to feeling alone, and see that it is possible to not only survive, but live a joyful life, but the most important thing you can do as a survivor, is exactly that, survive. So long as you are here to work another day, you have hope, and you are taking another step on your own journey. Focus on that, not on how far you are compared to others.
you are so right, do not compare where you are and others are, just realize you are all on a journey of healing. I take back what I said, compare, then realize when you can offer some good sensible words to help those who are struggling with something you have struggled with also and moved past. All survivors and thrivers and their SO’s owe it to the other survivors and thrivers and SO’s to share their knowledge, experiences that may help one or one million.