The question isn’t about sharing or not sharing, it’s about why we, as a society, tolerate the haters. Why, in a stadium full of tens of thousands of fans, did he have to take that on by himself? How many people heard someone tell a fellow human being to kill themselves and laughed?
How many people heard it or read about it and decided against asking for help? How many of them will we lose?
The world is not, has never been, and will never be fair. Suggesting that anyone deserved illness or abuse because bad things happen to bad people is naïve. It’s a childish lie we coddle ourselves with, with no basis in reality. Survivors deserve better support than that.
I have said it many times – the reason you don’t “know anyone with mental health issues” is most likely because you aren’t a safe person to talk to about those issues. More than that, by creating an environment where mental health is not talked about, or is maybe even stigmatized, you are making it less likely that the people you care about will seek out help when they need it.
Suppose your family and friends can have open conversations about mental health, including their own experiences with therapy or other resources. In that case, it’s more likely that the people you care about will seek the help they need.
You should not feel sorry for me. This post isn’t about me. As I said, I have a condition that millions of people deal with every day. I’ll do the same. It’s about the reality that people around us are living with things that require efforts that we don’t understand. Just showing up for life every day requires effort and dedication from everyone you know. The amount of effort and challenges are different, and they are not distributed equally. You shouldn’t dismiss anyone’s struggles, especially if you’ve not been in those same circumstances yourself.
Some things have to be experienced to see all the details. When someone is willing to share the details of their challenges, listen and learn. Raise their voices instead of assuming you know the answers.
Experience is a hard teacher. We all can learn the lessons from those who’ve lived it.
That’s why when people approach me with ideas for how to prevent childhood sexual abuse, the only two things I focus on are education and honesty. I didn’t even know I was being abused because I lacked any education, and I didn’t talk to anyone because there were no safe adults for me to talk to.
If you want to prevent abuse, do those things. Talk to kids about sex, abuse, rape, violence, and LGBTQ issues. Please give them the vocabulary to talk about what is happening to them, to define what is right and wrong, and a place to get their questions answered honestly, get good information on the topic, and have open conversations without judgment.
If you aren’t willing to provide that for kids, I guarantee you there is a predator out there who will be more than happy to fill in the spaces for the kids around you and teach them about sex. You’re not going to like what they teach them.
Nothing tells me that we still have a long way to go when it comes to stigma like learning about a clearly distressed young man getting killed on a subway while other passengers sat and watched. Because his situation was uncomfortable. His manic behavior made them uncomfortable and all of the compassion for other people who struggle with mental health issues went right out the window in this case. This wasn’t a well-put-together person speaking calmly, this was very different. The same core issue – mental health – but different results. One group is acceptable. The other not so much.
That’s stigma.
Subscribe to our Newsletter
See a sample before subscribing here
If you’d rather use RSS – that feed is here.