How to Protect Kids from Predators Without a Need For New LawsPin

How to Protect Kids from Predators Without a Need For New Laws

How to Protect Kids from Predators Without a Need For New LawsPin
Photo by Todd Huffman

It’s something I’ve advocated for over the years, but today I came across a quote on Cecil Murphey’s blog that sums it up perfectly:

Looking back, I now know she chose me even before she talked to me. I’m sure she spotted the longing in my eyes and the loneliness that I projected out of my hurts and agony. As I would learn later, when we’re chosen, they watch us before they target us. They especially seek the lonely and abused children who display their vulnerability by the way they walk, their clothes, general demeanor, or the helplessness in their eyes. They sense their lack of family support or their susceptibility. Only later could I see that my own identity was fragile and distorted. Then I would realize she had chosen me because she knew I was defenseless and lonely.

Cecil’s post is specifically talking about situations where kids who were already being abused were easy targets, as if they were wearing a sign, but it goes deeper than that. Kids who are “defenseless and lonely”, kids with no stable family to turn to, kids starved for any kindness or attention, are the kinds of kids that predators look for. They are the ones who can be manipulated, have no one to confide in, and are vulnerable. If we really wanted to do the hard work of protecting children from predators, and in turn also raise adults less likely to be victimized as well, we’d do everything we can to make sure we do not raise kids who are walking around wearing such signs.

That is the one thing you can do starting right now. There’s no need for a new law or to wait for social services to be available to you before working to raise children who are not defenseless and vulnerable, but rather know they have allies and support.

Survivors, how much difference would it have made if you had grown up knowing that you could turn to someone, anyone, with your secrets? Most of us were abused for years because of the lack of that in our lives. If we provide kids with that, it makes them that much less likely to be targeted.

Similar Posts

  • Tiny little life

    I became an uncle for the second time today. My sister-in-law gave birth to a baby girl this morning. I can’t wait to go meet my little niece. On the other hand, I’m also supposed to be meeting the other member of my family that I talked about earlier, to talk about the abuse and…

  • |

    Freedom to Heal

    Given the response to my last post, and the discovery that this month’s blog carnival against child abuse topic is Freedom to Heal, I thought it would be a good time to expound a bit on the idea of taking care of yourself. As the comments point out, survivors often struggling with feeling like they…

  • Quick Thought #18 – Sports as an Example of The Lens We See Life Through

    Just like in sports though, sometimes it’s not about how the world works, or what mistakes we made, it’s about the other team. In our case, it’s the abuser. They did this. Healing is understanding that, and coming to grips with the fact that our lens is wrong. We’re looking at someone else’s actions and choices through a lens that only sees ourselves. We were abused, maybe when we told someone, we weren’t believed, or maybe even as adults, when we share our experiences we make others uncomfortable. But it’s not us. Other people get to make their own choices, have their own reactions, and choose who, and what, to believe.

    What we need to do, is start untying other people actions and reactions, from ourselves. The abuser chose to abuse. The people who refused to help, made that choice, and the people who still don’t believe us, have their own reasons for doing that. None of it has anything to do with us, those are other people making their own choices, playing their own game. We can do everything right, live our life to the best of our abilities and still “lose” in these interactions. It happens. It doesn’t lessen us, it shows us who these other people are, and tells us about their agendas.

    We learn from that, and move on. We do not blame ourselves for their agendas.

    It does take developing a more mature lens to view life through, and that takes time, and work. Are you up for it? Or maybe the better question, are you tired of blaming yourself?

  • |

    You Don’t Expose Truth By Spreading Lies

    I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the survivor community recently, and finally decided to say something about it after a recent post on Facebook this past weekend. The trend is of spreading “news” from clearly fake news websites in order to spread awareness about child abuse. In this case, I’m sure many of you saw,…

16 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)