Emilia is right about this. I don’t have kids, but I know what things were like as a kid, and honest conversations with my parents around sex, consent, and touch, was not part of it.
“I want my kids to know they can come to me when things get confusing or difficult. In order for us to have this relationship, we need to set up the foundation now. These conversations don’t have to be terrifying or uncomfortable, but sometimes they are. As a parent you need to be prepared to start the conversation, and follow where it leads.”
Again, speaking from my own experience, and the experience of many survivors, we often didn’t have either a safe person to go to, or the words to describe what was happening. So we kept secrets because our abusers told us to keep secrets and there was no one else telling us that was wrong.
So yes, some of these conversations will be difficult, but believe me, the conversation with your adult kids about the abuse they suffered as children without you knowing about it, will be a lot harder. I’ve had that conversation with my parents in my 20’s. I’m sure they wished they didn’t have to have that.