I think Brittany makes an important point about boundaries in the post below. Most commonly when we talk about setting boundaries we talk about what we won’t accept from other people. That’s important, but it’s also important and healthy to consider how we protect ourselves.
“You can for sure tell people not to text you past 8 p.m., but that’s a defensive play because usually that conversation happens after they did it. By setting your phone on “Do Not Disturb” mode you’re already creating a wall between you and that phone call. It doesn’t matter if they call you, you won’t hear it. By respecting your own boundary with yourself, you’re putting the onus of responsibility on you, versus them. “
This is a good example. She gives another later concerning loud arguments. Yes, you can ask people to not have loud arguments in your presence, but you also take the step to walk away when they do it anyway. That’s how you take responsibility for your own triggers as well, rather than doing nothing and hoping that other people cooperate with your requests. People, even people with the best of intentions, are not perfect and they may bump into your boundaries. You have to take responsibility to act in your best interest when that happens.