I’ve been saying it for years. Any article that claims to identify the “one thing” you need for your mental health is a lie. There is no one thing that works for everyone, but trying everything will help you identify what works for you. The things that are good for you anyway, like eating right, exercising, learning, social connections, etc., will only help. Why not do them?Â
I think there are two things that stood out to me about this research.Â
Young people who need help aren’t getting it. Part of the reason why there is no diagnosis is that many of these young people are suffering in silence. They are vulnerable for a number of reasons but we are not taking the steps to identify the issues and get them help. That’s on all of us. It appears to be a larger issue with minority kids, males, and other groups who historically have been underserved my mental health resources.Â
Guns are so effective at killing that kids with access to guns only need to consider it one time. It’s hard to get to a diagnosis when the method works so often. Only 33% of those lost to suicide by gun had a diagnosis, compared to 40% overall.Â
I can’t help but wonder how many of those teens who feel like they have no one to talk to about their emotions have parents who don’t think their teen has emotional struggles because, surely, they would talk to their “supportive” parents.Â
Don’t assume your kids are fine because they haven’t talked to you about struggling. They may be in that gap.Â
I’d much rather have some difficult conversations and for all of us to be uncomfortable with the topic than for that kid to feel that alone.Â
I’ve seen this time and time again. As men, we might even be told that we should be open to our emotions, but there are still very few spaces for men to show emotion. Sports is one example of a space where we can show excitement or disappointment. Sometimes, we can show more complex emotions, but only in romantic relationships—never with friends.Â
He also discusses the limited range of emotions usually deemed acceptable for men. Note how anger is one we are allowed to have and how it gets used as the cover for several more complicated emotions. That might also explain why men with depression don’t come across as sad but angry and thus don’t get diagnosed with depression as often as women. It doesn’t “look” like the depression we see in the media.Â
There’s simply no way you don’t know people struggling right now. Whether you want to consider the levels of anxiety and depression a disorder or a natural reaction to the state of the world today, we would all do well with more compassion and grace.Â
A lot more. People are dying without it.Â
