This reluctance to get help kills people. The societal norm that says it’s weak for men to seek professional help, that we should be strong and stoic in the face of every situation, kills men.
Boys get molested. I was one of them. Lots of other men you know were likely molested, too. Some of them may not even know because we weren’t taught that boys could be victims of sexual abuse. After all, if our bodies reacted, we must have wanted it somehow.
This reasoning is so outdated and harmful. Men who were sexually abused as children deserve to have their stories told. All survivors deserve access to support and resources. It’s the very least we can do.
The bottom line is that when we talk about young LGBTQ+ people and the lack of acceptance they get from people closest to them, we run the risk of losing more of them to mental health issues. We could make a significant impact on youth mental health if we stopped stigmatizing and acting horribly towards people who are different than us.
If you’re not willing to do that, don’t tell me how much you care about mental health and young people.
As societies, we don’t care enough to do the hard work required to change it. If we cared, we wouldn’t have years and years of stories like this. We wouldn’t have millions of people having to choose between eating and their mental health or being dumped into a system that offers no help.
But we do, and very few leaders are even talking about making the massive investments necessary to overhaul the system.
Because we don’t care.
We all deserve access to resources that would help us avoid becoming a danger to ourselves. These resources shouldn’t be limited to people like me, who are lucky enough to have family support to help cover the extra costs, and they shouldn’t require that we wait around for people to reach the point of needing to be hospitalized before we offer them any. That middle ground is full of people who deserve better.
This is why I look for the definition when I read anything about being fully healed. What does being healed mean to you? Is your definition possible? A definition that includes the abuse having zero impact on who you are today? Because that’s not realistic. But it also doesn’t mean you can’t go on to have a healed life while acknowledging that it is still part of who you are.
It was a traumatic event; they became part of us. They don’t have to rule us, though. That’s healed.
