I know the feeling Kevin talked about on his blog last night all too well. For all the guilt and depression I suffered through all the years of abuse, none of that feels as bad as disappointing a wife so worthy of my love and care.
Hang in there Kevin, the best thing about our wives is how much they see the good in us even when we don’t.
Pin (ed note – As Stan and Lacey have both pointed out in the comments, I am not referring to the actual ancient idea of karma when I talk about karma here, but the more common use of the word in modern society, which seems to be based more on the idea of instant karma, where…
I was reminded this evening about a site that an online friend of mine had put up to help tell his story and support other abuse survivors. I hadn’t been there in a while and it was nice to see the forum and everything else still going strong. You can take a look at it…
I finally found the time, and the correct bit of code “magic” to get the new Blogroll tool setup and running properly. Now I can get around to finally making updates to the lists!! I went through tonight and removed a number of blogs that had either gone away, or not been updated in quite…
In each of the last two posts I’ve written here, I’ve made mention of both using this time of year as a good excuse to show your appreciation to the important people in your life, and also offering friendship and support to them during troubled times. I had another, related, thought today. The most important…
Pin As she and her guests shared their stories and the research around how this happens, I kept replacing all of the stories; the pain of giving birth, the struggle to bike up 4,000 feet of incline, and others with trauma and PTSD flashbacks. When we have those kinds of reactions, we become different people. Often, we become the child who was being abused instead of the adult we are, and we act accordingly. We lash out, self-protect in unhealthy ways, or try our best to hide from it.
The exact reactions are not the important thing. We need to know that it happens. When in an extreme emotional state, we can act like a different person. We all do. The problem is that we don’t know that person. We are not good at predicting how we will react. When we are in a calm state, the warm-state version of us makes no sense, and how we think we’ll act turns out not to be what actually happens.
Yesterday I got a physical reminder of why it’s important to keep stress levels low by finding ways of coping with stress better. Most days I do this fairly well, but yesterday there were a number of issues at work and people I either needed to get information to, or get information from, or get…
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Hi, I just wanted to leave a comment, and say I think it is nice that you would donate raised money and that of your own to help others.
I am a survivor of abuse, and wish I could do more for others who are hurting…
Just wanted to say I think it is great that you are reaching out.
Melody
Thanks, Mike. You were right.
You know, the thing about life that I notice the most is that it is a two way street.
Relationships are a give and take thing, no matter who you are or what your past represents for you.
Sometimes it is hard to be there for someone else when you can’t even be there for yourself, but if you are lucky, like I know you are…you have someone who really loves you and someone who will stay even during those times.
Im waiting for my day in court I hope I can be as brave as Kevin. My wives couldn’t handle me. Now that I have healed somewhat I have tried to make amends to them for my “Toxic” behaviour. I wish all servivors the best of luck, we will need it. gardinerjr@rogers.com