Movie night
The other night my wife and I watched Sleepers and then proceeded to have an interesting conversation. She made the comment at the end of the movie that it wasn’t really the happy ending you thought you were getting by the time they reviewed what happened to the characters in the future. My response to that was that was why I found the movie realistic. After being abused like that as a child, there is no happy ending. There’s no amount of revenge that can make everything alright again. It’s part of you, and it always will be part of you.
As I think about that though, and about the people I run into on account of this site, it occurs to me that, on some level, maybe it’s the expectation of a “happy ending” that frustrates survivors. Not that survivors don’t experience happiness, and joy, but I really feel like the expecttion that there’s going to be a day when everything is just suddenly better, like it is in the movies, keeps us from understanding that healing from abuse is a longtime journey, and in some ways it’s a never-ending journey.
Again, it’s not that being a survivor means we’re just doomed to be unhappy and unable to enjoy life at all, rather the happiness and joy comes more from learning to live with what happened, learning to accept the permanent changes that abuse has made in our personalities, and most of all, learning how to make healthy decisions for ourselves. It doesn’t come from beating yourself up because you can’t get to that magical “better” today. There is no magical “better”.
Or maybe none of this makes sense… 😉
I’ve seen the movie Sleepers and I also read the book, the story is sickining and does give you a dose of reality. Recovering from abuse is a journey and it does take time, but the is a happy ending. Although the movie and the book ended the story continues. The problem faced in “Sleepers” was that Revenge does not solve anything it only causes more pain. The two men that killed the guard (If you ready the book this part might seem justified) were gangsters it was only a matter of time that thier decisions would lead them to their deaths. Lorenzo and Micheal are the only ones who really have a chance to survie, if they realize deliverance does not come from revenge(even through it may feel good). One of the guards became a Catholic and taught sunday school and although it may seem twisted Jesus did come to save everybody including abusers. So what do you do ? Well, the word of God tells us to forgive and we will be forgiven (Mark 11:23-26;Matthew 18:21-22;Genesis 4:1-24)and the Bible also says that God will have is revenge for anyone who harms you (Romans 12:19;Deuteronomy 32:35-36), of course if that person repents and turns away from his wickedness God will forgive him too (Ezekiel18:26,27;John3:16). Your happily ever after is in the hope we have in Jesus Christ who has died sinless to save us from our sins and rose again to give us eternal life.(Ephesians 1:3-14;Romans5:1-6:11; 12:1-2)
It all made sense.